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March 26, 2008
Dear Journal,

My timing sucks (at some things). I get home I want to relax and just watch episodes of television shows I want to catch on. Then my mom gets home and wants to talk so its like ok let me pause this. I don't mind talking to her (she is my mom dahhh). Whenever shes awake I'm asleep and vic versa. She works at night and I work in the early morning. It just always ends up I'm in the middle of something and she wants to talk. Although shes in the middle of watching something but she won't stop for me or will just talk tome though it. I kind of want to not talk though it and understand it better. O yah does your mom get really loud and be like "o look at this". Its her birthday so she had got stuff from her sisters house. I guess I'm use to it. I wish we lived in a bigger house I can't wait to move out. I hang out in the living room and thats near the kitchen and dinning room (thats a row home for ya).


Side note don't watch stuff from Youku because there s**t takes a year to load. It sucks for me cause I only want to see the last two minutes. If anything use tudou smile .

I eventually started my internship. I usually help the girl bake stuff. The Internship place does bread, cakes, pastries, and sandwiches too. They use to do cakes I think. The changed their name to "Sweet". What the guy was on when he named it ...I have no idea. People there are nice for the most part. They have lots of big egos smile . I figured out why I couldn't start a few weeks ago. It was because "they were training actual employees". Yah I'm just chop liver . But If I got put baking why would they not be able to have me start. It was because the baker would get pulled to the front to help out.


I got to do more baking stuff today and management stuff. I worked there for 10 hours. I ate lunch and I got a full 10 hours of sleep. It was fine. I made brownies, pumpkin bread, and bread dough. The brownies came in this big 50 pound box. They were moist in the box not like Pilsbury where its dry so it was like a big brick of brownie mix. In order to break it apart to get the 12 pounds I needed I had to put all my weight on a metal scrapper. It took forever. Then to clean the bowl I had to stick my hands in it to clean out the bottom. I am sloppy but I never knew baking to be that messy.
Guess I was wrong. I narrowed down want I want to do when I get done my Baking and Pastry Associates degree. Not baking smile . Its so redundant roll dough out, rol them into danishes and repeat. I also don't want to have to be at work by 4 am. Nor does it pay enough for my liking. Is that why its a dying art. Everyone takes the loafs of bread in the stores for advantage. Its a lot more work than many may realize. At home it takes me 3 1/2 hours to make a loaf of bread with out a box to make the bread rise (cause who has a hot box in there house). The same goes wit the 24 loafs of bread I made with the dinner rolldough. I screwed up the pumpkin bread a bit. I should have mixed the wet ingredients together then added them to the dry so I wouldn't over mix it. If you over mix it it over works the baking soda and it won't work as well. If I mixed the wet ingredients together I would only have to make sure the wet stuff that looks orange looks incorporated. The girl Christina said the pumpkin bread usually comes out a bit more poofy.

I also got to don management stuff. I emailed the manager guy and told him I wanted to start doing management stuff. I got to the internship (Bad timing comes in here too) and I asked the manager guy if he knew any ideas about the management stuff. Since hes the only "manager" there really isn't much. I asked him about it but I got him while he was on the phone. Why do cell phones have to be so small? Hes a lefty (like me so I would notice) so I forgot to look in his left hand. When I got done the redundant baking stuff he was like you said you had ideas. I got to make a production sheet and a morning clean up schedule since they don't have neither. He seemed very enthusiastic about it. So I went though added all the stuff I could figure out what they were called. Then hes like "I really want to do the donuts on there too . If you go to a donut place like Dunkin Donuts you know how they have 50 million types well I have to make a separate sheet for the donuts.

I feel like I'm being of some use and not in the way. I feel like in the beginning they could care less about me . "O if you have any questions let me know". I kind of choose to hang around the front and learn the front stuff. The schedule was kind of random too. I guess its kind of like however they can schedule it is however I can do it. Brianna was mentioning Chis the manager forgot a delivery so she was left alone with a line out the door. The line of customers wasn't there to begin with I don't think (I doubt it) . But I wonder once the manager gets use to you then you get kind of screwed not it the beginning. Yesterday I felt like if I'm in the way or to much trouble to have then why did you say yes to having me as a intern? I guess from doing the production sheet and the morning cleanup sheet I feel like I'm proving my worth.

I asked a couple people what they thought of a morning clean up sheet. The one girl in the morning said she made one and it got trashed. I talked to another girl who works at night and she was like "I'll make sure to enforce it". The night girl wrote me a list of stuff to put on it. The morning girl ( I think her name is Brianna) sheet didn't get trashed the manager Chis had it. He gave it to me so I could use it for the sheet. I guess he was going to make one but never got around to it.

I guess you (or me) can learn a lot more from mistakes than perfection. At least that way you can point it out. I'll just list them

-Don't leave your employees hanging
-Don't neglect customers (everyone was to busy to notice the guy who walked in probably for a cup of coffee then he left)
-Get the customers to spend what they are prepared to spend for example like the guy above who probably wanted coffee) I probably felt guilty because I saw him and everyone was busy with cake orders. I was scared he was going to ask for a sandwich that I didn't know how to make or I'd be bossy to someone by asking them to take the guys money while I go get what he wanted. I didn't even have apron like they had on and I had no authority so why pay any mind to me? I feel really bad now. Now that guy is going to tell all his friends why not to walk int "Sweet". It takes more time to get new customers than to maintain old ones.
-Trust your insticts (like me making the pumpkin bread).

If I ever move to another county to get away from the new American communist country it won't be to Canada. Instant Star is really going down hill. Judes jealous cause he somewhat boyfriend is recording her rivals and spending a lot of time with her. The rival sounds similar to her and also like Judes songs. Karma (the rival) wanted to do Judes song as her first single. Jude said yes if Karma would get a new producer. Come on now screw your boyfriend over, you don't get any money from Karma doing your song all because she was jealous. Why are you going to allow someone you hate who got you exposed at a kiddie party so it would then be shown in the newspapers. Let her write her own songs. Where did her pride, dignity, sanity go? Whenever Tommy calls I guess they all go out the window. You'd think they could use her old boyfriend as an example like Tommy become bad reasoning and Old boyfriend can be her good reasoning. Everyone seems to be all buddy buddy too. Is all just so unrealistic. I know I'm no writer but please god what kind of selling did they do to get that show on tv? I guess the writer knew someone. I could so do better if they gave me the script I could fix it up. Maybe I should read the fan fiction version of it. Maybe I should stop writing. smile I think my thing is finally loaded anyway.

Thanks , Hachi_ateyou