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Dear Journal,

This will probably be shorter then normal but..anyway. Life gives us so many opurtunities we just have to take them. I can dwell on whatever guy or thing I want to but sitting and doing nothing is worse then trying. I feel like if I try my best in a situation then I can have no regrets. I know whats best for me and I know me better then anyone else. I went with my brother and Dad to a comptuter repair place because his hard drive in his brand new HP's decide to break. I went with him into the city to pick it up. I wanted Mc. Donalds so I went. We got there my Dads all your the guy on the radio. The one guy was teasing my brother about having Wow on his computer if he was already his buddy. The other one was like "Nice Shirt" or something of the nature. The Straterra wore out so I was a little in my own work. I was like "oh thanks happy theres someone out there who likes Smashing Pumpkins too" . I should have kept on going on with the conversation. Its not like they were busy either.I guy he was runnig something on a computer so he was loading a movie while waiting. He was probably a year younger then me. He was I could have started talking to him trying to hint we should hang out and get him to ask me out. I thought it would be weird to just start talking to a guy at his job. I whispered to my brother " You should break something else so we can come back". He was like we can leave and you can ask Josh out" . I have no clue how my brother gets to know people or their names at that.
I feel like I do that with guys all the time. Its like if they don't ask me out or keep going I feel like theirs something wrong with me so why do "I like this guy anyway". I'm tired at drolling at guys and going oh he's cute so is he, and him. I need to have no regrets. I made the mistake too many times.

Therers nothing wrong with me. Looks help but you can't go on them a lone. But the guy can't be but ugly either. Same with girls for guys. I guess I'm afraid of rejection. I am my own worse enemy in many cases. Next week the one boss I have that was in orientation with me I get to work with for a little bit at least. I have to make the best of it. Talk to him possibly get to know him (if theirs time). I doubt we have anything in common. I work in mornings and he works at nights so I never talk to him. I can't use the excuse "oh no guys ever asked me out so I can give on that guy or I'm missing something." He's my boss (one of them). I'm not going to "flirt with him" or try to get him to ask me out. It's a big question mark in my head I'd like to answer. At the orientation there was some question and I was like " Jeff would know he's a boss" . That might have been me fustrated for all I know. No excuses and no regrets.

Hachi_ateyou

Ps.(Maybe this isn't so short ). Some kids put "long next to their post but there not that long. I would consider having to scroll down long.