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Today is one of those days where motivation comes from no where. I trying my best to step out of my "box" if you will. Where do you begin? I honestly know why I'm so unhappy today. At least its only once a month. I sometimes wondering if I'm making progress. I feel like if I don't see it I'm not making it.
They had me try out a biscuit recipe for their menu. I was really excited because I was actually baking something and plus it wasn't the same handful of stuff I usually make. Different is nice. I didn't know what it was for I just did what I was told. They were using the biscuits to redo a menu item. They turned out really well. The one girl saw them and was like " these aren't Momas biscuits". " I could make your Momas biscuits". They probably could use a little something I admit. She came back an hour later and served some overly baking soda under baked ones. I ran in their office grabbed one and left. I felt somewhat relieved. I still wanted to remake the biscuits I did because I enjoy messing with recipes and I haven't done it in a while. I kind of wonder how the politics of the whole thing would go. Would they choose the best?? Would they go by the person making it would they go by a specific taste or texture??
The one girl hasss to be better. Watching her flinch would be more entertaining. Do a blind taste test. Why do I really care? More so to listen to the criticism and to understand what their vision is and how they think when it comes to food. Also I just enjoy playing with the recipe and see all the differences. Making your own recipes derived from others isn't all that impossible just time consuming. Although I like it because not everyone can do that. It's a skill you don't get from a book. It's more learned though experience.

She was kind of getting on me the other day a bit on how to make a basic pizza dough recipe. She ended up helping me compile the stuff. Then shes all don't add extra water don't mix it any more than the directions. Yet both would helpful. She was just showing off because Bosses were around and I haven't really baked much at work lately.


At times I feel so underestimated. Like I'm shoved in the back and work magically gets done. I feel like since I'm doing all that work it leaves time for other people to experiment but never me. If I keep on poking my nose out hopefully that will do some good. I feel like it has. For example I usually double check the prep list to add stuff or check if an idiot wrote the list. I didn't and I saw my Boss was around I figured "eh if its needed she'll have it". Then something got missed. She wondered why I didn't see it. Usually shes upset that I found more things. I'd rather find the stuff now then be screwed the day after. I get bored with the s**t in front of me. I can work on auto pilot.

Long as I get a balance between what I like doing and what I'd rather be doing I can be happy. 40 hours a week I can be happy. I can be happy with the whole critics thing. If I don't get MMyyYy biscuits chosen so be it. Its 2 hours less I'm doing boring s**t. I'm sure it will be a pride thing with the other girl and proving shes worthy of where she is. Long as I can play around with the recipe I'll be happy.

Is "the girl" worthy of where she is? Yeah I guess. Why dig yourself so low to prove that. Why do you need something so small? Because your stuff isn't on the other menu? Redemption? I guess I'm trying to push buttons. In actuality the only person she's competing with is herself. I'd like to see her uncomfortable. I don't like being used as an example. YOU be the example and I'll get a kick out of it by watching from the sidelines.