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I was in a car accident yesterday. The way things happened, I am lucky to be alive. If the angle of the impact had been different, I would have died ... I am amazed that I survived it. The entire front end of my car was almost gone it was crushed in so far from the impact. It was a head on collision with an SUV and I was in a much smaller car. If that SUV had hit the driver's side door instead of the front of my car ... I would either be dead or severely wounded. But, somehow things worked out so that I survived. I still am blown away by that - amazed, and frightened by how close a brush I had with death that day.

The accident was really frightening. I try not to think about it, but the scene keeps popping into my mind - the last thing I saw before the collision - a car suddenly swerving out in front of me coming from the opposite direction - a huge car coming right at me. There was a split second of time between seeing that car move into my path and the collision. The actual moment of the impact is something I don't remember really well. I remember the feeling of the impact and the sound of it, but not the sight of it. I must have closed my eyes in fear at the moment of the impact, because the next thing I knew, the car had come to a standstill and I was opening the door and stepping out - in a daze of shock, pain, and dizziness.

It was all so terrible. I try not to remember it, try not to think about it, but it keeps coming back to my mind - I have to keep fighting off thoughts of the accident. It's hard not to think of it - it has impacted my life in so many negative ways. My car was destroyed in the accident - the people at the tow yard said it will never be driveable again - it's totalled. I have pain in my neck, shoulders, back, and head. The loss of my car - that is a huge thing with so many ramifications of its own. I feel like it took away my freedom and a lot of my sense of confidence and independence. I will have to take the bus or get rides from family and friends everywhere I go now. That sucks more than I care to say - I lived like that for years, and I don't want to go back to that way of life and the feeling of helplessness. But, that's where I'm at right now. Maybe in a few months, I'll be able to save up enough money to buy another used car. I had really crappy insurance that hardly covers anything, so they won't be paying for the value of the car at all or any of my medical bills or any expenses related to the accident.