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Discouraged


I am so tired of being unemployed, of trying to find a job, of being discouraged ...

When I look at job listings and descriptions, I always feel unqualified ... and inspite of all the jobs I've applied for, I've had so little interest in response ... I am so depressed ...

I just want to have a job again, to be a respectable part of the workforce again. I want to be pulling my own weight, not waiting on a government handout. The whole thing is just awful ... and I'm so, so tired ... I wish I could afford to support myself on a retail job. I'd like to work with customers instead of paper and computers. I like people - working with people is rewarding. Retail jobs pay so sinfully low, though ... no one can afford to live on what they make at a retail job unless they are living somewhere rent-free and don't have student loans or debts or something ... *sighs* ... I'm so very tired ... emotionally exhausted from trying to keep hope alive that I will be able to find a job that I can support myself on ... I hate not working ...

I just don't know what to do ... I seem to be completely un-hirable or something ...

If only I could take a temp job without losing my unemployment benefits ... a couple temp job offers have come through and I really wanted to take them, but if 3 weeks later I were out of a job, I would have been in trouble. Supposedly Unemployment ends once your new job ends (at which time, if you had worked there long enough, you'd be getting Unemployment through them somehow or something - I still don't really understand how it all works ...)

I need a job so desparately, and I am sick and tired of being at home all day alone and sad and depressed. It's a nightmare ... and it feels like it will never end ... God, please ... soon ... I just want to be a respectable member of society again ... working for a living, providing for myself ... *sighs* I have no hope at all ...

*sighs* Give me some strength and hope ... I am so afraid ... because what I am forced to reach out for that would pay enough to support me is vile stuff - more grey filing/typing sorts of jobs ... vile stuff ... stuff that is full of death ... God ... please ... help me to find something with which I can support myself that I'll be able to survive until I can get out of America ... please ...