Okay, so it's very rare that I can't find some kind of common ground with people, and I don't think I've ever felt out of place amongst pagans before. I mean this has only happened a very few times in my life, but here I am all of a sudden... feeling a little awkward and totally turned cold by this pagan group.
I know it shouldn't be a big deal to me, but it's really bugging me. I don't know whether to stay and keep trying to get along with people or to just move on. I'm really thinking that latter right now though. Still... I feel bad just giving up. I guess because it's so rare that I find myself in this position, I just don't know what to do.
Normally, I find a group, there's a few people in there that I don't quit click with, but we don't fight or anything, and I either like or love the rest of the members, so it really doesn't bother me. This time though... I haven't really found anyone in there that I feel I can connect with. The only two people I've seen post that I did want to get to know better, were new to the group like me. And the last few times I've gone, I've actually held back from posting anything, because thinking about what I did want to say... I realized I would be going against the grain, and I'm really not in the mood for another luke warm or semi-negative response.
Now I know the group has been around for awhile, so I'm thinking maybe they've just developed a culture all their own and that's what I'm bumping up against. So maybe it is best to just walk away now. Before things turn sour.
I mean so far they've all just politely disagreed with me or passively rejected my point of view. Either that or I find myself reading their statements and unable to find any way to relate to them without taking a different stance. So yeah... it's probably best to just leave it at that. A cool ending rather than waiting for the seemingly inevitable crash-and-burn.
It's sad though, and I hate giving up on anything, so it'll be hard to just stop going. For now maybe I'll just go into lurker mode, and watch the way the group interacts. If it doesn't look like there's any further hope of connection... I guess I'll just gradually stop lurking and call it good.
...
That's probably the best way, yes. So why do I feel so empty at the thought?
 Morrighan-Brann · Wed Sep 21, 2011 @ 07:05am · 0 Comments |
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