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Before I begin, I need to say what I am. It's pretty dumb to start explaining the reason why I am the way I am without at least partially knowing what "way I am" in the first place. Let's keep Jeopardy games on TV where they belong.

Part one explains the way I am.
Part two explains the reason why I am the way I am.

I am a stuck-up perfectionist. I am socially inept in some cases and have problems connecting my thoughts into speech. I have a brooder's mind; I constantly go over ideas in my head until they're worn smooth like river rocks. I tend to shy away from most forms of interaction with other humans either because I have hidden fears of being rejected due to some mistake I might make, or have made, or because I'm uninterested in them.

There are two sides to me, and to simplify describing them I'll describe them as animals: sheep and panther. The sheep is meek and easily spooked, and always wants to be safe from danger. The panther is fed by the fear that the sheep has and uses that drive to push for excellence and perfection in all things. And it might be a nice little trade-off if no problems come up.

But it's easily ruined into a facade. If the jaguar pushes for excellence and isn't able to achieve it, maybe for some lack of performance or whatnot, it nibbles at the sheep in hunger. This results in an increased sensitivity to both mindsets, or in other words I get shier and work harder. Other people may notice this and bring it up with me, which only feeds the cycle more. The panther relies too much on the sheep for pushing itself to victory in this situation. This wears out the sheep to no end, which pushes the sheep to rely on the panther for support.

Both sides have weaknesses that are covered by the other, and they resort to desperate means to keep the output going.

This could all be just pure poppycock. Or it could be an incomplete analogy. But it's better than going into a Kingdom Hearts metaphor. Heaven knows I have too much in common with Ventus already.