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Today I've been given the ability to move all my stuff from one dorm room to another dorm.

I have a new room in a new dorm. It's befitting since I'm changing, and the snow that once was is all melted away.

Every day there's a time slot in between when work ends and before I go to bed. During it, I am reminded in my head of what good I've done during the day and the good I failed to do.

But this is but a reoccurring event. There is nothing I can do the next 24 hours after this that will not keep me from going through the same motions.

So instead of attacking myself with the problems I failed to solve head on and wasting energy, promising 110% while just barely getting 95%, I will sidestep the assault on my self-esteem and bounce back the next day. Because this job I have to do is more live by the moment than plan for the future.

This sidestepping is the only thing that I have been able to do. This sidestepping is the only thing that I will be able to do. This sidestepping is the only thing that I must do.

Determination is probably one of my strongest suits right now.

And every time I look at what I'm doing today, I realize just how much it's better than it was when I did the same thing yesterday.

There is no hope for those with no hope left.

And all that I am writing now is the result of what I have written before.

What an adventure this has become. But there is more work to be done, and I must face it without wavering, even though my heart may be dreading with every second and my feet may be aching with every step.

And when my backup comes, I can give them back the load I've been carrying for them. Then I can use the extra energy to eliminate the remnants of work that needed to be done but weren't.