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time to think
things between paul and i have been rough l8ly. and thats understandable. its getting near the end of the year, we both have a lot to do, and not a lot of time to do it all. but things have just been too much. he has been telling me that he gave up. he just passed the high skool exit exam... and as did i. i told him that he can take his GED and get the heck out of skool if he wanted to. and i think he is really going to take me up on the offer. he makes standards for himself that he will never meet... cuz he wont do the minimal to get to the point of success. he loves to procrastinate and he loves to just goof off.... he really wanted to be a programer for video games when he finally got a job, but that doesnt look like its going to happen. he doesnt have good grades, and from what i hear we go to a skool where we have almost no work to do. and other high skools have to do a lot more than us. so if hes failing now that he would be dead @ another skool. he wasnt allowed to be in the skool performance tonight because he didnt have good enough grades AND i had to stay after and he decided to ditch to be with me. and he had us avoid parts of skool so he wouldnt go. that was really lame. i gave him the option of going, but he didnt go. i dont know how to make him happy, he said that i should probably go dump him and look for some one else to be with..... i know that wouldnt make him happy. but what does he want from me? i need some one that will be here for me, and right now it doesnt look like he is going to do that. i need to be supported, and i will support back. i had big plans for myself. i wanted to go to this particular collage and i want to live right next to disney land while im there. and i want to just have a good time. and since it is a community collage, i would need to live on my own... and me and paul would have our place. but i guess hes done with skool... so i dont know why he would come with me. he has such a negative out look on everything, i dont know how to make him happy. i dont think that is really possible. cuz every time i try something comes up that he doesnt like, or that doesnt go his way, and then things are back to being bad again. i want to be here for him, and i want to love him... but i dont know if i can. maybe i should love him from afar. *sigh* and i thought girls were supposed to be the ones that were hard to figure out. i just want to make him happy. and i want him to feel like he has done great things. high skool isnt for everyone. and i know that. so maybe when he is done he will find something that he loves doing. i dont know. all i can do now is hope for him.... and give him what he asks for.
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Community Member