|
been a while...
am i ready? i have been going nuts to talk to my friends and family but now i don't even know if i want to...i feel like the dr told me not to talk to them for a reason that they know of, what should i do? i have no idea, i wish that they would call me instead of me having to call them. i haven't heard from my bro or sis not even my blood bro. why is that? i would think that if they cared enough they would bother them selves to see how im doin, i haven't changed my home number in years so i kno they have to have that one at the very least, or even my cell i havent changed in years, i dont know what to do right now. i've met some new friends but none of them can replace the relationship that i had with these two in particular, i can only remember as from 2007 starting school n stuff but everything after that is blurry, how convenient for me to forget just two years and a few months, when thats what i need the most, why couldnt I bump my head and forget everything before 2002 when things seemed to be atleast a little better, i had no worries, and i wasn't involved in anything bad, i was just chillin...i don't know , the dr couldnt explain it either but he has seen many of the same cases where people lose a few months a year or a decade even just can't really explain it, amnesia sucks, now im afraid to do anything. this dr tells me to do certain things a certain way to help me remember like try to decipher why i might like something or why would i pick something up with my left hand as opposed to my right, i know kinda crazy but it hasnt helped me remember s**t to be honest i only tell him im progressing because i want to finish these stupid sessions. i know its bad that im lying to him but i mean it sucks man , im in so much pain emotionally nobody can fix it not even a doc thats getting paid millions to fix me...thank god for health insurance....hey guys if u read this by any chance please give me a call im dying to hear your voices, i miss u guys but when i pick up my phone i can never bring my self to dial....i still got u guys right next to each other in my speed dial and i can muster up the strength to do so, my doc said when im ready even he will help me callin u two but for nowo i gotta wait.anyways.....i love you guys, i love my girl, i love my family, i miss everyone, i wish i can turn the hands of time...but you know how it goes, this is ******** up i hate my life...i miss u guys
|
