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"The sun will always shine..." I remember a time when I believed it would shine forever. But my days have grown dark, everything seems a blur of motion around me. My heart no longer flutters as it did before. I escape from this world and enter my own. A world of wonderful make-believe. The sun never shines there. Its a place of incredible darkness where I hide myself. Hide my ugliness...
They all walk past me not a one batting an eye. I lower my eyes to the ground and hug my books close to my chest, this is my way of protecting myself from them. They laugh and joke with each other. I hurry past them and get to my first class, I'm always the first one there so I can be sure I get a seat in the back...away from everyone. I reach into my bag and pull out my new book. I read to ignore their idle chatter.

Every day is the same as the one before it. Nothing ever changes... That is until this morning. The classroom buzzed with the newest gossip. I never pay any attention to it. When Mr. Erntz enters the room he has trouble hushing his loud students. I love Mr. Erntz, he is always kind to me and doesn't mind me being so quiet. After a few minutes of barking orders to a couple of rowdy guys the class settles down, and our lesson begins.
Somehow I manage to get through the rest of the day until lunch. The landscape at our school is so beautiful. I sit under a blossoming cherry tree and enjoy the sack lunch my mother packed for me. Two girls chirping to each other, as they walk by I catch a few words they say. "so hot..." "yeah, and dark..." Who in this school could they be talking about. There are no gothics at this school, are there? It's times like this that I begin to wish I would talk to people. I shake off that thought quickly and take a bite out of my sandwhich.
Watching all the groups slowly circulate around campus makes my heart ache. I had once had friends. I was once a young cheerful girl. I was stronger, braver, and I was happy. And like most girls in middle school I was in love...
I was so shy when i entered middle school. There were so many people. And I remember that on the first day i got lost. I was almost in tears in the middle of a crowded hall when he showed up. He took my hand and helped me to my classroom. It was love at first sight, (for me anyway.) Alex Mathews, was tall, handsome with brown eyes and tan hair, and best of all he was always so kind to me. That is until our last year in middle school.
One day as I was leaving my class I overheard a conversation in the hall, Alex was talking to his friends. I shiver as I remember this horrible memory. "You know Kari likes you, right Al?" His friend Trevor said. Alex just shrugged. "Dude! Do you like her?!" a boy I didn't recognize asked. "She's so ugly, I can't believe you like her!" Alex then stood up and my heart pounded, he's going to stick up for me I sigh.
"I don't like her, I'm just using her to get to Mary. They are best friends you know." "Hell yeah! Mary has a sweet a**! But dude isn't that a little cold for you to use Kari like that?" Trevor was now standing up for me, what is going on?
"Kari is way too fat and ugly for me, I would never date her. She should know that herself, all she has to do is look in a mirror..." If he said anymore after that I didn't hear it. I ran. I ran down the halls and out the door. I ran to the large oak tree at the edge of the school yard and cried into the rough bark.
These memories haunt me, with the cruel reminder of my ugliness. I can feel my freckles, and the layer of fat around my thighs.Why can't I be beautiful? My glasses slowly slide down the brim of my nose. I push them back into place. The bell rings. I gather my things and slowly walk to my next class.
English begins. My favorite class. Through writing I feel I can express myself fully. Ms. Benny, our english teacher always praises my work, and respects my shyness. She never makes me present anything in front of the class, or puts me in a group with other students. Class begins. I pull out my book and prepare for the lesson.

I finish my last class and begin the long trek home. Its always quiet and peaceful. This road always has flowers in bloom, which give off a heavenly scent. Like every other day, I walk and bask in the warm rays of the sun. CRASH! "Wha-!" I wake from my wonderful nap. There is something around the corner, running. Everything seems a blur. Whatever it is its getting closer...too close. I collapse to the ground, a great weight bearing down on me. I open my eyes slowly, the sun is directly above. A dark shadow looms over me. My eyes focus. Its a boy!
My face reddens, and the boy seems embaressed aswell. He turns to his left and sits next to me. I push myself up. The boy is staring at his hands, his face a bright shade of rouge. I wonder why?
"Kari!?" He suddenly speaks.
"Y-yes?" I ask quietly.
"I thought it was you..."
What is going on, who is this guy? "You probably don't remember me." I shake my head. I honestly don't remember. "My name is Trevor, I was freinds with Alex back in middle school." I feel my eyes widen. No! Not him! Why? I thought I had left all of that behind me. I went to a different High School to avoid seeing any of them, I couldn't bear to see Alex or anyone else I once knew after what I had heard. He puts his hand on his forehead." I never thought I would see you again, let alone bump into you like this." Ok? Why is he being so weird. Back in middle school he was never this easily flustered, is this really the same boy I knew? "Its been two years..you just up and moved away one day." He seems sad. "I had to." I hide my face from him, I don't want him to see my eyes, full of tears.
He smiles, crookedly. "I was going to tell you that day." I look up to him.
"You overheard us that day, didn't you?"
I nod, "yes."
"I heard you running, I doubt you know what happened." I shake my head. He's going to tell me all of the more horrid insults they slandered me with, I don't want to hear it. I turn my head away from him. He seems a little taken aback. All is quiet....."I, well, I sort of punched Alex in the face." He finally says. I look at him, he's so serious. And then he smiles. "No man has the right to say such horrible things to a lady. You should have seen the look on his face." His own face brightens and he cheerfully laughs. "Why would you do that?" I am shocked to hear this coming from his mouth. He turns to me suddenly, and takes my hands in his. They're so warm, so gentle. "I love you, thats why." My face reddens. "I was going to confess my feelings for you the day you moved, I've waited so long." I'm crying. "I, I'm so sorry!" An inpulse tells me to hug him, and I do. The first human contact in two years. Its so wonderful.
"I never knew." I say sadly. "Its my fault for that, I should have talked to you more." Trevor smiles meekly. "But...why? I'm hideous, what could you possibly like about me?" Trevor looks at me strangely. "You, Ugly?" He's laughing! What is so funny about my ugliness?
"Kari, you are the most beautiful girl in the entire world. How could you ever think otherwise."
"No! I'm ugly! Thats why Alex used me! He only pretended to be my friend! I'm nothing compared to Mary."
"Mary?! Is that what this is about? Ha! You should see her now. I heard that after she and Alex started dating he found out what she was really like. Your polar opposite. She's so nasty and treats Alex like s**t, but I guess he sees something in her he likes. Since they are still together."
"So Mary and he are...?"
"Yeah, I heard Mary might be pregnant." What! Mary said she would wait until her wedding day. "I guess shes really not the same anymore."
"Kari?"
"Yes?"
"Did you know that even a rose can bloom in the dark?"
"What?" I ask stupidly.
"You hide yourself in the shadow of Mary, but while others pay attention to her you bloom wonderfully in the shadows of hope you still hold on to. And while Mary's beauty fades, yours grows bright and shines as brightly as the sun." Is this true? Is this why I am like this? I was always with Mary, but I never seemed to get any attention. But now, I realize that people weren't staring at me because I am ugly. Perhaps I really am Beautiful. "Your soul is pure, and your always so upbeat. Thats what people see when they look at you. They can feel the deep love you hold within your heart and they feel they have to be close to you in order to feel the same. Well that is how I feel when I'm near you." His face flushes. He's so cute. Why did I never notice this before?
Trevor loves me for me. My heart thumps and awkward rythm. "I think I may love you." I say as I look into his deep green eyes. He leans toward me, and kisses me. So warm are his lips. I can feel his heart against mine. Beating together as one. The darkness that once engulfed me now fades away. My heart feels so light. Is this what love is? I never want this feeling to end.