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Life has never been so ... strange. And bad, honestly.
It sucks to be in these moments.

The past 5 months have been, pardon my french, a total s**t show.
I lost someone incredibly dear to me, in a pretty sudden and traumatic way. I suppose the events that occurred weren't technically traumatic, but it certainly felt that way. That has been, and still is, an incredibly difficult adjustment. I miss her so so much. I miss her face. Her presence. Our bond, and the ways we interacted that were entirely unique to us.


~ So that's goodbye my eager friend. I'd have thought that we would have another morning ~


There have been good things too. My grandmother's health had been declining, but it's somewhat better now. And I got to go visit her last month.
I have a new job, and I have insurance again. I'm looking for a place to move, maybe on my own, maybe with a roommate. I'm looking forward to having my own kitchen. I very badly want to learn to cook lots of things.
I have more time to myself, which I've desperately been needing.
I have some new friends. Some really really good people.
I've been reading more, and learning a new instrument.

But the days are getting shorter and colder. And my heart is heavy.

2018 was by far the best year of my life thus far. I've never been so happy. I didn't know it was possible to be so happy.
This year has been so difficult.


Maybe I will feel better by spring. Maybe it won't even take that long.


We shall see