http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar2lSFBl6lA
wowwee it's already October~
It's only been about 2 months into college but I feel like it's been half a year already, jeezus.
Looking over Riley's shoulder while he was checking his email reminded me to go on here, heheh. Sorry love~ I try not to peek, I don't read your emails but I do look at the little previews on the side, heh...
But anyhow. Things are going fantastically well, i guess. I mean, my parents both filed for bankruptcy, and I'm going to end up paying for all of my books again. But hey, that's life. That's what I've learned from dating this guy.
Agh, and your post of your dad on facebook.
I dunno. My mind kinda went blank fer a sec there, Idk what you think about it. I mean, of course I know what you think about your real father. But doesn't it wanna make you wanna curl up into a ball sometimes and cry? I mean, I cry over the stupidest things, so I guess I really don't know what I'm talking about. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really don't understand how you even put up with things like that. Always so smiley around me, but you have a short temper when it comes to me being pouty over the stupidest things. It's your way of saying, "it's nothing to cry about" or your infamous "Deal with it" phrase. dear lord I wanna punch ya sometimes when you say that. But still. I get it now. I cry over a ton of things, a ton of stupid things, but they're just so tiny and minuscule, it's like, why, you're so dumbbb there are plenty of other things you could cry about but you don't.
Maybe it's cause you're a man razz P, or maybe it's just cause you really don't care anymore. You obviously know that crying won't help anyone at all~
Ugh I wish I knew how your brain functioned. How do you get from problem A to get Solution C without going through the emotional process B? At least, that's how I see it anyways.
And now I understand what you mean by all this, "you're he best thing that's even happened to me" "You pulled me back from my games" type of stuff. And I treasure all of it. I just want to hug you right now, but you just went to bed at like noon, you idiot.
I'm afraid though. If I do hug you Imight just end up crying for you. And you'll just scream at me asking what's wrong, what did I do, etc etc.
This is all probably because it's almost my time of the month. So much stress, ya know? ^^
But I do love this song.
I've decided to keep a journal and write about us daily, but,
heh, i dunno.
I'd give you the journal the day we get married, but I feel like you'd call me lame. I'm much more of an emotional person than you think. (that sentence didn't come out right, sorry about my english). But I really do hope you still read these.
I really do
Because it's hard for me to talk to you straight about these things without bawling.
I've been trying to do my physics homework but I can't get the image of your real dad out of my head. Now i get why you don't ever want me to meet him. I'm honestly scared of him ^^" so i thank you for keeping him away from me. but still. i don't get why you haven't blown up in his face about everything. i guess you already got to the conclusion that that won't solve anything, huh. jesus. let me hug you. and cry too.
my sincere apologies for being emo, I'm kinda just letting my brain just go alsdkagdfkjfd on here. I think it's better this way, right? So I don't hafta rephrase everything just so people can accept me and will keep from judging me, yknow? This is honestly the place I feel safest, because I know not that many people I know in RL go on here anymore, since they actually have lives now.
still,
sorry bout that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar2lSFBl6lA
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Nyahhh but my life is a bit too boringggg.
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