Sp many good thigs have happened lately.
Riley graduated cop school and Jessie got her license. Marisol is coming back to work with me, and I’m going to graduate soon.
I take pictures of these moments and then get pictures of myself. And it ruins the entire memory.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I look and feel great; I see what I want to see and Riley says I look good too;
But then the picture comes, and is posted onnfacebook, social media.
I see what everyone else sees.
A fat girl, who just keeps getting fatter. It’s getting worse, and now people are pointing it out, like I don’t know.
My hair is ugly. My arms are huge. I can’t fit into t shirts the way I want to, but jeans don’t fit because my thighs are big. I don’t want to get new clothes to make myself feel better, I want to go back to being 100lb Megan but I’m too afraid. I feel like Riley isn’t supportive and I’m afraid of looking at myself in pictures again.
I just wish someone told me not to wear that skirt.
Not to wear that top.
Not to wear that sweater.
I wish someone told me.
I wish Riley told me.
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