Dear Journal,
XXXXXToday, as make this entry, words fail to come to mind in order to sum up the things I need to share with you tonight in a way that I would find efficiently literate, but I need to let it out and express it. Hey, it's better than holding it in, right?
XXXXXLast night, though, I wasn't able to hold in my feelings until the time I make this entry. Reason being is that I've finally accepted that Andrew doesn't like me, and I'm finally dealing with the pain that followed. Each time in the past I've held back the emotions altogether everytime I heard that he never -and never will- like me and warm up to me. And I've come to that fact and dismissed it everytime it may cross my mind. But last night I couldn't hold back the built up emotions any longer and I finally let it all out by crying, and I'm still letting it out by making this entry. But I have to tell someone. Maybe a friend, it wouldn't make such a bad idea, don't get me wrong. I was contemplating on whether to express it to Kyle.
XXXXXAfter letting all my emotions out last night I thought . . . life would get harder as I go on. That the pain in my heart would linger for a while longer, but the one person stopping that pain is Kyle. I saw that today he was more of a friend than he's ever been. Why haven't I payed attention to him throughout this entire year? He's such a good friend, why haven't I ever awknowleged him like I did today? He's reached out many times and my feelings for Andrew has caused me to turn him away with each time he reached out to me. But with the realization of him not liking me, I've finally accepted Kyle as a friend. Because I find it easier to express my emotions to him than just writing in a journal. He's been the one person on my mind for the past few days, and I'm also beginning to think that I may like him. But unlike the other times that I've liked someone and blew it by being too obvious, I think I'll just calm down this time and be happy with the fact that at least he's a friend. Being friends doesn't feel as good as being *together*, but at least it's better than not being friends at all.
 xSILENT - - s e r a p h · Thu Mar 04, 2010 @ 04:45am · 0 Comments |
