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continues...forever
Sadly, it has not ended.I have been listening to my music, I still give in to those urges.*sigh*Nothing seems to help, now I have given in once or twice.I know I can't continue with this.It harms my body too much.I can't do this, since school ends tomorrow...I will have to tell my friend I gave in several times.I know I seem as though I'm depressed.Well I put on a show for my friends, I don't want them to be in the pain I am in.I know I shouldn't even be in this pain.But, alas it is getting closer to my Dad's death day.This does give me a reason to be sad.I just want my father and Marie back, it's not too much to ask.Alas I alsways say this knowing I will never get this wish, this one and only wish.I have no chances of this to continue.I do want to have all my dreams come true, but I have to work harder than I already am.Yes I was hit again today if you ask.It hurts like holy hell.I deal with it though. *sigh* Although it tends to get harder with the continuing time.I have told two people, they are telling me to tell.I can't, what will happen to my little brother.I can't have him to repeat this.Even though I had it worse at my father's house.I still did protect him.I even promised him I would never leave him.Not even if I get extremely mad at him, nothing can stop me from protecting him.It's my duty as his older sister.
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