In amendum, I had not failed Mandarin. Instead I'm well and able to use the knowledge from my learnings to unlock further this and other languages. Neat.
Not so neatly through the course of the past few days, I have been cheated on. It was not some horribly monstrous act by some harlot that I happened to become enchanted with, it was much further from that than we are from the moon. Ours was a relationship of many complications, and justly so she, like myself, grew weary of the constant struggle to maintain our happiness with each other. I cannot express the sadness felt within me as she told me what had happened, but as I knew it was inevitable, I couldn't grow angry with her. She is but a human, and I knew she was afraid enough from what she had done, I see no right in condemning her for her actions. However now, I must leave it up to her to choose whom she wishes to either remain, or join, with. It is with much grievousness that I assume her answer for her, as I know this person can provide more happiness than I am able.
I had know this would occur down to the letter, and to a slightly lesser extent whom with despite the irrationality of that person at the time, so I've had a lot of time to try to come to terms with losing her. I enjoy being right about things when it prevents unnecessary fights or saves lives, but I know I wished and wished for this to be false. I've predicted the last few relationships precisely this way, I know I can't help it because I need to read every subtlety to know my situation--it's what martial artists strive for: to know what and when to do it. My selfishness allowed me to not leave her alone until she found someone else, and that is that.
I should know that this is best for her, but I still can't come to terms with her being gone yet. So to her, and you the reader, I must say farewell. Farewell until I can come back and write you something further. Farewell until I can feel joy enough to write...
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Reluctant Protagonists
We walk on two legs, not on four. To walk on four legs breaks the law. What happens when we break the law? What happens when the rules aren't fair? We all know where we go from there; back to the house of pain...