Wow. Two posts in the same month? I'm am getting good at this. Okay. But I really do have things to report.
Ever since me and Saiyajin broke up, it seems that I've had nothing but other guys trying to go out with me. I've already told you about that one guy that a friend tried to hook me up with. I think he's finally stopped trying to call me ((thankfully)). That was scary. But now, I've got two other guys trying to get me.
One is my good friend, whom I've known only for a little more than a year. He says that he serious about liking me, but... I'm not attracked to him in any way. Does that me that I'm at fault here? I'm not sure. Because my other guy friend says that I should have given him a chance. But... I just couldn't imagine anything between us. I feel bad, but I just can't change how I feel.
The other guy is the one that I took to prom. He recently broke up with his girlfriend too and he's been trying to hang out with me a lot recently. Now I am attracked to him, but I'm not sure if I want something to happen between us. Is that weird? I mean... I'm not sure I really want to take a chance right now. Saiyajin is still too fresh in my heart.
I'm really afraid that I won't get over him. My sister, Hoshi, talks to him a lot more than I do now, but she refuses to tell me how he's been recently. Saying things like "If you wanna know, go ask him yourself." And I would if I could, but... I don't want to sound like I'm still in love with him. And I don't know how hung up over me he is so we're kind of at a stand still.
:sigh: I just wish I could have a little break from love. Or just have the right path be shown to me. I'm tired of all this "guess and check" reasoning I'm been giving myself up until this point.
Why couldn't things have just stayed the same? ... Maybe I should just talk to Saiyajin again about everything. Maybe we made the wrong choice?
Maybe...
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Kodoku na Oujo no Nikki (The Diary of a Lonely Princess)
This little, worn diary, holds my deepest thoughts and fears.
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