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Okay so i've been pissed at both my councilor and my mother the last day or two. they're both just not listening to me right now. My mother is trying to get me to do what she wants and drop everything that's going on with my life right now in order to do so, and my councilor and i have just never quit clicked.

i think i may have resolved them both to an extent now though. i sent my mom a good long email explaining exactly what's going on right now and why i won't be dropping everything to come running to her side.

and my councilor ... well i just do better in general sticking with walk-ins anyway, so i'm going to stop seeing her on a regular basis, and probably stay away from the days/times that she takes walk-ins, at least for a little while.

i'm really lost with that suicidal friend of mine. i just don't know what to tell her anymore. i mean, the key to overcoming depression is desire to do so in the individual suffering from it, and she just doesn't seem to have that.

i wish there were a way i could just magically give her that desire, but i can't. i wouldn't even know how to begin to do that.

i guess i could just tell her that out right. that i want to help her, but in the end it's up to her. ... i'm just afriad that if i say that she'll think i'm fed up with her and don't want to talk any more, or that i'm abandoning her to her own fate. i'm not, it's just that she's tried all my advice before and while she says i'm helping a little, i can tell it's no where near enough to even get her questioning her desire to die.

*sigh* i don't know. i guess i'm just sad because i'm not god and not able to just make people do this or not do that based on what i perceive to be good for them.

well, i guess all i can do is be honest and just wait and see how this all goes down.