"Mark you made a mess all over"
"AHahahaha YOUR SUCH A LIL FERN BRO"
"Mark stop" I blush Alex never calls me a Pteridophyte...
"NO," he pushes me down still peeing all over his blue jeans are damp and wet so are mine he pees so much his jeans fall apart the seams and strings shredded up his body wraps around mine and were grinding I slap his fat butt and he gets mad. Sucks all the pee back up into his body and says "A plant like you needs soil before you get glucose"
"HAHAHA, kay mar-"
he flips me over before I can finish rips his pants off and starts punching me then I'm so bruised I can't move he starts pooping all over me steamy hot shits running down my back stuffing them into my mouth. "mark mmmf bro AGGG YA POOP ON ME BRO SPANK ME, DUDE, OHHH YAAA."
He starts slapping my a** and shitting into his hands making giant poop balls and smearing them he's singing "Your move!
Yu-Gi-Oh!
Your move!
Yu-Gi-Oh!
It's time to du-du-du-du-dududududududuel!"
IM DROWNING IN s**t "mark you dirty lil pig oink oink give me soil so I can get a lot of nitrogen, phosphorous, and sulfur."
"Hahaha ya bro now you need some sun light"
Pees on my face like fireman hose water flys at me so hard my face gets red as a rose it hurts I'm crying it gets in my eyes and ears and nose I can't see or hear him, I'm submerged in a river of piss
and its rushing I'm brown and covered in thick poop I feel like firemen are doing this cuz im black..... THIS IS NOT OKAY AND I GET UP AND ROUND HOUSE KICK MARK IN THE FACE HE FLYS BACK BLOOD SPEWING FROM HIS NOSE AND HE YELLS "MONKO"......
"BRO?"
"ss...sorry"
"Bro that is not PCP BRO"
he takes another hit of his crake pipe
"You're red as a rose"
I look at the puddle of piss like a mirror.... he's right I'm red as a rose its time to get Carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen I start breathing hard and fast in and out fast and faster I'm losing it I spread out my arms I can feel it the power of PHOTOSYNTHESIS.....
"Mark.... My name is Alex"
his jaw drops as he takes a knarly fart and flys up and out of window.
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My functions
all the crap I written under the influence of various drugs