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I don't know if I'm greatly surprised or just estatic that someone actually reads these things. I never like to let people know what's on my mind because I was brought up to always think I can be better, and letting people know my faults would be being weak. Or something ******** up like that. I blame my parents. You all knew it was coming.
But well, I never actually thought of myself as the topic holder. I always feel I'm intruding. >.>; Or talking about stupid things and thus rambling. Kinda like Recall. Then again... I was the sole reason everyone got together. .__.;;
Share gets Ketobie to play CrimsonRO.
Ketobie gets his (gf at the time) and friends to play CrimsonRO.
(GF at the time) brings Gaia friends to play CrimsonRO who bring friends.
WALA, we have ourselves family. xD
Guess you all woulda met without me through Gaia though... Actually... I'm kinda the... odd one out... o.O; I had like one tie, I knew Ketobie's OTHER ex who brought him to my guild. Oy x.x; Nevermind. Let's not go there.
Today's Topic? Don't really have one. Just, alot has been on my mind.
WoW - Highly addictive to SOME. Yes, only SOME.
- Relationship killer. (It's eaten my bf, but I refuse to let that bother me and thus let WoW eat our relationship. x.x; But yes, it's hard. And yes, I'm going nuts. xD; I'm still trying to be good enough for him on there D: )
- Family killer. (To be honest, if we were all smart, yes ALL OF US, we would have sat down and discussed the servers better. NONE of us seem to really have the memory passed that of a walnut (unless it's useless, then I'm your gal). So really, we should have been smart enough to go "Hey, we should discuss this server thing before everyone starts up." But did we? Noooooo... Yes, we should have remembered that Tai wanted to go to Silvermoon to be with her brothers, but did we? Noooo. Should Tai have expected us to? Nooooo. Is that her fault? Noooo. We're all stupid for not discussing it more. xD And like... taking notes... and like, registering it to our cell phones so that every single day it would beep and go "Yo, start on THIS server when you get the game." We didn't, and now we're all over the freaking place.)
- Share's insanity stealer. (Yes x.x I'm going insane I swear. I use to jump servers for everyone, that way I always had someone to play with, but not anymore. Ketobie wants me in his WoW guild on Ysera, and in order to do so I have to play more... on that server. .___. ((I managed to get my lvl 12 to 19 within a few days. Phear m- *ahem* fear me. ^^; )) So yeah, I can't server jump anymore, not really, and because of that I get lonely ingame ><. I can't expect my bf to talk to me every damn moment and everyone else I either don't know their char name or they are on another server D: ))
Yo, Ysera players: ADD Kacela TO YOUR FRIENDSLIST AND WHISPER ME WHO YOU ARE! D: I gave up on Ravense. -.-;; If you can't pull of a simple frost nova, blink, and arcane combo... it's just not the class for you. xD;
(All in all I have fun playing it, so don't get me wrong. It's still evil though. But... >.> I can fish. xD <3 )
What's on Share's mind right now?
I'm sick of regenesis commercials. Oh, and I'm so tired I'm shaking and was pissy cause no one had talked to me for hours on end. BF was in a hard instance. Half of me says that that's perfectly fine and that I should leave him be. Half of me wants to point out how much wow he plays and wonders if he's been out to find a job lately. -.-;; I'm hoping the later half stays inside for a while. Or maybe he'll read this and know that I'm trying to stay on the sidelines D:. I dont wanna stress anyone. Honest. T___T
Number of injuries:
Well, um, 1 for sure, 4 others possibly, and maybe 1more if you count backpain. I thought I had an ingrown, still think I might, and so I dug at my toe till it bled... and got infected a little... and it hurt. Like hell. And I have serveral cuts on my scalp. Don't ask. I'm neurotic and should take meds, seriously. I picked at my scalp. -.-; Cause... it's lumpy... ew.
Share is:
Loosing weight again. >< I'm down from 120 to 117ilbs. Yay? D:
The most repetitive thing Share's done this week:
Panic? Prolly the quoting lyrics on the dock in RO's Ayothaya. >.>; I'll post lyrics below all this.
Share wishes:
...
.... Um... My number one wish had always been (and I had never told anyone this, evar): To finally be warm. What does that mean? Well, I'm quite usually always in pain. Emotional or physical. IBS comes in both forms. It causes me to get cold alot, and shake. Anna teases that I'm a central heating unit cause I'm always warm to the touch on my body, but my limbs are always freezing. I have an inner fire, but it's so busy keeping me running that I never feel it. sad I wanna feel warm. And... well... I do... or did... When I was with someone... I think most of you know who. So it hasn't really been much of a wish lately.
What is it now then?
Well... I guess it'd be for someone to give me a chance. I use to think, "Why can't I just do these things? Go out and get a job." One day I decided I was going to do just that. I spent three weeks going at least once a week, sometimes twice or three times, to get a job. My mom even tried. WE both failed. She's gotten off my back now. Father hasn't... but his constant insisting that I'm useless, sit on my a** all day and do nothing, and failing at life is only driving me closer to doing something we would all regret. Like... Knocking him unconsious... With a chair >.>. Don't laugh. I'm serious. But yeah, I need a chance.
Shouldn't you get to bed?
s**t, yeah. xD; At least my mood has passed. I almost flipped out earlier, and that would have been... bad.
Last comments.
I had a dream last night where I can never remember the beginning to, no matter how much I try. What I remember is visiting a place with my family, and we were being very fancy about it. Long dresses, formal suits, flowers and jewelry. Some big formal event I suppose. Almost set in a past. And yet, was the present. I seem to recall a jungle setting outside the house-rooms, but I'm uncertain. I just remember tripping over my dress alot and giggling about it at the weird "parties".
There was where, and you're going to laugh or pass this all off as some foolish fantasy when you hear... but it's not xD;, a child-hoodish friend was. He was a vampire I think. Cause everyone knew he never aged and had always seemed older than he appeared. I just remember in the dream, my char had always known him. He tolerated few people, and I never understood why he did for me because I think I'm annoying. Well, there was this point where he ran off and suddenly became very child-like. No one could get him to leave this weird and haunted-like room. I walked in and asked very gently if he would come with me. I got crushed in a hug and was told he wanted to keep me close so that he could feel warmth. It was so weird. xD I just remember then telling him about my bf, of all things. xD Then I woke up.
But it was a nice feeling. Someone saying that you are their warmth. It was cute. So I thought I'd mention it. razz Anyhow, I should get to bed. It's late and the cat is beckoning me to bed. :3
Lyrics~
Show me - By Dizzy X
I won't shake you, I won't break you, I won't lead you on.
I won't beg you, or decieve you. Now has just begun.
It's so far away when you go there. You go there without me.
You're so far away when you there. Don't go there without me.
Show me.
Show me that you need me.
Show me.
Show me that you want me.
Show me.
Show me that you love me.
Show me...
I will save you, rearrange you. I won't bore you down.
I won't bleed you, or invade you. Show me solid ground.
It's far away when you go there. You go there without me.
You're so far away when you go there. Don't go there without me!
Show me.
Show me that you need me.
Show me.
Show me that you want me.
Show me.
Show me that you love me.
Show me~!
Are you sinking without air? Crashing everywhere.
There's no more time, no more inbetween.
All I know
is
love.
Oh~
Show me that you need me!~
Show me
Show me that you want me!
Show me!
Show me that you love me!
Show me!
Show me that you need me.
Show me.
Show me that you love me.
Show me.
Show me now...
Show me.
Damnit show me!
(Yes. I sat on the dock and typed all that out just like that... over and over. I think at least 8 times. >.>; x.x I'm emotional. : P )
 Silent Flame · Sat May 20, 2006 @ 11:55am · 0 Comments |
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