Koneko Nya-chan
I wanted to stop crying.
She is probably crying too...
That is heartbreaking.
I talked to Ha-Kun. He asked what had happened that he was so out of the loop. He blamed himself for everything which isn't right. It's not his fault.
I managed to go to bed without crying. If though I was in pain and sad that I lost my friend.
There is not much I can do.
She said if I was going to pursue him then we cannot be friends. I would have to sacrifice my feelings for him to save our friendship. I am not that strong. I cannot make such a sacrifice and be happy. I feel like I would be lying to myself. I lie enough as it is.
You have to love yourself as you. If you don't, how can you love others?
I can't love the 'me' that is weak and lies about her feelings.
I like him. I do like Ha-kun. I like my friend Ah-chan.
I want everything to be better. I want both of their happiness. I want happiness.
All I can do is wait for her. I want to be apart of his life some way. Friend or girlfriend. I can't just throw him away and pretend I don't like him. I did that once and I don't want to do it again. I want to stop lying. I really hate lying and Ah-chan said she wants me to stop lying as well.
So I won't lie to her. I like Ha-kun. Whatever happens I will be here. I cannot force her to be my friend. I cannot do what she asked me to do either. I am leaving it up to him.
Whatever happens I will always be his friend and I will wait for Amanda to accept my friendship back.
She threw me away. She said I'm sick and a bad person. Out of anything you could call me, that's one of my triggers. A bad person? Really?
I didn't tell you to stop being his friend, you idiot. But if you want to try and steal him away from me, try to take what I'm working for (it's not that I own him. It's the principal that you're trying to move in on him when you know that I love him, and that...
No. You're sick. This is horrible. You wouldn't do this to someone you cared about. I need help? You need to realize how to have friends. Because you don't treat them this way. You don't take their happiness for yourself. You don't say "Oh well, I'm too weak, so let's just go for it anyway."
That's idiotic. Grow up. You're weak, get stronger. You're using it as an excuse. I'm tired of your excuses. Tired of your lies. Tired of you making me feel horrible for things that I'm not doing wrong. You actually make me feel bad for liking him. Do you realize that? Nobody has that right, to have such dominion over me.
Let me know if you figure out how to treat a friend. Because this? This isn't right. All you're doing is crying to him, tearing him apart, making me look like the bad guy.
Leave. Him. Alone.
You're hurting him. And I won't allow that from anyone.
