Oh boy, oh boy! My journal entries are just getting fewer and fewer with the passing months!
I've either lost the time or the motivation, sorry anyone reading this.
My motivation has really dwindled this past [school] year.
What are some recent things I could describe well... Okay, well this isn't recent but pretty significant: I dated a guy this year, we lasted about two months (late January - late March), and many people found it odd that we were dating in the first place mainly because we look quite opposite each other. He's the tall, blonde jock and I'm the short, brunette alternative girl. He's a whole foot taller than me [I'm 5'2"]. I dealt with some cute sh*t from his ex before me who's one of the wannabe preps. I say wannabe because there are no actual preps at my school. Many people misinterpret the term prep. She, like several other girls at my school, wear the same typical sh*t every day: Hollister brand-whore sweater/top, blue rinse jeans, and uggs or something like that. Real preps wear pricier stuff like Coach or Guess, or even more pricier like Chanel or Prada or Gucci than the little girls' brand Hollister. And the real preps can afford to go to a tidy private school in a different town. And do so.
Anywho, his ex and her best friend gave me some nasty looks and words, to my face and behind my back, and they still do that, but with much less frequency. The guy was nice to me when we dated, and seemed to genuinely like me, but I think he was just hoping for a f*ck. The day after he asked me to be his girlfriend, he tried to get into my pants. Then two weeks later, he asked to have sex. I turned him down both times, of course. I mean, really? Just because we were dating, it does not mean I'm automatically willing to spread my legs for him. Talk about too soon. Nonetheless, I have more sweet memories of him than bad, which is a nice change compared to my previous cheater exes. Though he may have cheated on me as well, since the day after we broke up, he was hanging out and getting close with another girl. There are Facebook pictures of them, goodie.
So forget him and the other two exes.
I am focusing on being more optimistic. These past few months, I have been under loads of pressure and stress from school and dance (I ended up continuing dance this year anyway) and extremely cranky family members. I'm seeing a counselor now, her name is Lucille. I saw her a few days ago, on the 19th, and I spilled out my feelings on some family situations and some other stuff. I shed a few tears a number of times in that hour-and-a-half session, and I left with a headache as a result. I see her again on Monday. I'm afraid she might prescribe me anti-depressants because I can't take pills for the life of me, and the very thought of anti-depressants is just disturbing. So trying to be more optimistic is my trying to fix myself. c:
Lucille suggested I take up journalism again, so here it is. Yayyy.
