Disclaimer: I do NOT nor will I ever own Ed, Roy, or anyone/anything from the FMA series. (Even if I wanted to *depressed*) I’m just using them to put my twisted little plot into play. I am not making any profit out of this.
A/N:
This chapter is dedicated to my lovely beta-reader and best friend Vivi who inspired me to write a crack fic because of all the ones she sent me. : )
Summary: Hell breaks loose in the Headquarters as a full-out prank war erupts between Edward and Roy. “Don’t step up if you can’t keep up.” Roy stated triumphantly at Edward. CRACK! Not a slash.
Chapter 2
The officer ran in fear of getting on the bad side of the Colonel. He immediately went to the spot where he knew Edward and Alphonse would be and couldn’t find them. Instead he found a note with the Fullmetal’s signature scrawled on the top of it. It was addressed to the Colonel.
“Oh, this can’t be good”, worried that he would get the full anger of the flame alchemist.
He ran all the way back to the Colonel’s office and saluted him. “I couldn’t find Fullmetal, but I found this instead.” He practically threw the note at the Colonel, saluted, and ran as fast as he could.
Roy opened the note with barely restrained anger and read what was on the note.
“You will not be safe Colonel. We will always out-prank you.”-Fullmetal
Roy’s hand crushed the note and a devious smirk lit his face. Walking back to his desk he mumbled, “So he has his brother as an accomplice.”
Turning to Hawkeye he opened his mouth. “I want no part of this, sir.” She saluted him and left.
Roy not feeling a bit dejected turned around to look out his window. “Havoc, due to the changes of events, I have decided to spare your life... in return you will have to be my ac---”
Squishing and a loud pop alerted the Colonel, so he turned and the image that he received would forever be engraved in his mind. He saw the vomit-covered a** of Havoc as he ran out the office leaving a trail of Roy’s putrid vomit behind him.
Roy cursed silently, but stopped himself as an idea entered his mind. Smirking he dialed the number while speaking out loud, “They didn’t call me the Prank King in high school for nothing.”
“HellOOoooOoo. You know, Roy, you should think about settling down with a good woman, then you wouldn't be so bored as to call me at this time of day.” The voice of Maes Hughes flitted across the line.
“Code Rubber Duck this is Sparky. The shrimp has initiated the war. Prep for retaliation. Over and out.” Roy put the phone on the cradle before leaning back into his chair while smirking at the images of his retaliation.
“Yes, sir.” Maes said to no one as he smirked while he hung up on the phone. Hughes leaned back as he reminisced over his adolescent years.
He remembered how he met Roy in his sophomore year while Roy was a little freshman. He remembered how they were both bullied by this group of upperclassmen.
Roy came to the school a quiet, reserved child who was always picked on. He was sadly a result of an affair and therefore considered a b*****d child by the community. The children instantly realized who he was and started to bully him relentlessly. One day, Maes was strolling by when he saw a little boy against a fence being beaten persistently. Maes being the hero decided to defend Roy by launching at the upperclassmen. He was no match for them, and ended up being beaten with Roy. Eventually they left them alone and that was how Roy and Maes’ friendship blossomed.
Ever since then they tag teamed together in order to bring down the terrible bullies of the school. They decided that a head-on attack would be idiotic and that they should strategize their plans, also known as pranking. They pranked them to the point of their insanity. They ended up switching schools and were never heard of again.
From then on, Roy and Maes we’re known as the Ultimate Prankers with Roy being the Prank King as it was his devious planning that drove the hated bullies out.
Hughes smirked while shaking his head, “What have you gotten yourself into, Ed?”
END!
-Herbal Teaa
Chapter 3
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yea exactly
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