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Okay, this may come as a shock to any of you who know me, and maybe I'm just being weird about being a shock in the first place, but my mother dropped the SS-bomb on my head hardly fifteen minutes ago.

"Bianca, tomorrow you're going to Sunday School."

Okay, rewind. WHAT?

Understand that I have not been to church in years Hell, I basically avoided the place as much as I could! All I remember was that I felt like beating my head in the stones of the foundations because I was so bored there, not to mention any religion makes me feel like sticking needles in my skin repeatedly. The only thing that I actually enjoyed last time was the beat up piano (the one I would've had if vandals hadn't covered the keys in glue).

I'd say its safe to say that I'm unsalvagable.

There doesn't seem to be any way short of God popping out of a jack in the box (to use my own quote) or for me to actually die, see him, then go straight to Hell, for me to believe that such a person exists. I know this sounds wrong, but hey, I'm about as devout as a wooden stick. The idea of worship makes me cringe (inwardly, inwardly). I don't mind other people worshipping, but only as long as they don't pull me into that strange whirlpool of 'amens' and 'God be with yous.'

They say that God is Great, and He is Everone and Everything, and therefore, Perfect. But if he is All and Everything, he must be Sin as well as ...well, the opposite of sin, whatever that is. And Sin means that you are imperfect. So how is He supposed to be Perfect if he encompasses Sin as well? I mean, he created everything, right? He gave us free will and all, but that would've meant he'd have to have created Sin to tempt us, and therefore we'd be tested. But if he wanted the BEST for us, wouldn't he have just done away with Sin altogether?

And what's with the tree of Eden, really?! Eve eats off of a tree that tells her what's good and what's bad, well, she's smart, isn't she?! If she didn't know the difference, then she'd be doing bad believing its good and vice versa, correct?

Okay, so you get what I mean by that I don't exactly get Sunday School, Christianity, and all that hubbub. At least the Greeks were realistic and made the gods pretty infamous at some points.

Maybe its the fact that I don't like the idea of God being able to know my every move, or planning out my life for me. Perhaps its just that I don't like the idea of Heaven and Hell (on the downside that I may end up in the latter for being a lazy a**). Or, just maybe, I hate the idea of God striking down anyone that annoys him, or the wrath of God, or whatever! Or that he doesn't accept gays, or Buddhists, and that everyone of another religion EXCEPT for ours gets to burn down in Hell while the bad people who are Christians get to party up in their penthouse in heaven.

Actually, have you noticed that nearly all religions (or, at least, the major ones) say that if you don't believe in them, you end up somewhere bad? I mean, the only people exempt from this trend are the Asians. The Buddhists believe in karma and reincarnation, while some of the Japanese think of life as a walk on a bridge of memories, and when your walk's over...well, it's over.

So, there's my rant. Go ahead, tell me I'm going to burn because of heresy, blah blah blah. Just think about the fact that there are good, blameless people of other religions that just might end up going somewhere they don't deserve to be, for their beliefs.

By the way, I think its okay to say that I'm slightly agnostic...okay, more than slightly.

Yeah. That's all.