Smile Stupidly And Laugh
Precious, a jewel.
Never compromised or sullied,
even when covered in dirt...
Or surrounded by filth.
Look,
don't touch.
That is the rule.
I must obey.
A glass box.
Crystal clear.
Impenetrable.
Even to my most skilled attempts.
Close enough that I MUST care.
Yet each time I reach out,
My fingertips hit the glass.
A fresh shower of realization.
You'd think by now I'd be brilliant,
Cleansed of such hopeless desires.
I have tried.
Tried to let it go.
But then one glance at it,
Perfectly flawed in itself....
And it feels as if...
Maybe, just maybe...
I want to try again.
I don't know...
Stupid. But I am.
You knew that, didn't you?
Just at the thought.
The jewel disappearing.
Never coming back.
Just... gone.
It takes to breath from my lungs,
Leaves smoke in it's place.
Rips the heart from my chest...
A hole where it should have been.
I want it...
More than anything, I want it.
To truly understand the complexities of such a gem.
To be able to HOLD it.
But each and every time...
My hands hit the glass.
I'm not good enough.
Yet again.
It feels like,
Even if I pound on the glass,
Try to shatter it,
Even with all my might...
MY hands will bruise,
THe blood will drip down my arms,
And the glass will turn to steel:
I would LOSE the jewel all together
I'm not willing to take that risk...
I would rather just be able to see.
To have that for now,
Is a gift.
So I will sit on the other side of this glass.
I will allow this gem to torture me...
To hurt me.
As all jewels do.
Even when it hurts...
Even when I see the crystal...
Turn to pitch black...
I'll smile stupidly and laugh.
