Today is another day, another day to sit back and relax from another goddamn workday. I do enjoy my weekends, I'll tell ya that, and I do not like having to spend my weekend working. I sure cannot wait until my supervisor starts to get those new employees going with the weekends. I don't want to have to work on another weekend ever again, haha.
But what am I saying? That's almost 200 dollars that could be earned just for one day. It's a win-lose, lose-win situation, judging by how I want to look at it. I don't want to look at it, get it out of my face. It's still the weekend. ~shakes head~ Sheesh, what am I doing? I should be looking forward but I find myself looking at nothing other than my thoughts in a white screen. If I could just shoot my words into writing then this process would be much easier to do since I don't really like having to type every thought that comes out of my head. Then again, I am pretty good at it, and I've had plenty of practice having been using a computer since middle school. Never really used the computer much until mid-highschool, but still. You or I get's the picture.
My mind feels pretty nummb right now. I don't know if that is really a good thing. I am leaning my head back as I'm typing this journal entry. I could possibly be making mistakes, but I don't really care right now. Right now I don't like making things more complicated, but apparently I tend to find myself doing it regardless. Quite possibly, this is actually an interesting concept. I don't even have to look at what I'm typing, but I'm not too worried about mistakes. I looked up at how much I've typed so far and I'm amazed that this is becoming to be a pretty large paragraph. Eventually I'm going to have to press enter so that I'll have another paraphraph to build.
There we go. My thoughts are refreshed and my muscle memory is getting the best of me. I wonder if anyone else ever did something like this? Well ya, obviously someone has typed without looking, but I mean to type out one's thoughts on an electronic journal without even using their eyes. It's like I'm Stevie Wonder talking about colors and pretty women. Red to us could reallly be blue in his mind, lol, and when someone says ugly, what's ugly look like to him? I suppose ugly would be what he doesn't like to feel. ~Rubs cactus~ "Dang this lady is very ugleh."
Lol, I'm a jerk to be making fun of a blind guy, but it's lighthearted joking, nothing to really be taken too personal. I really love Stevie Wonder's music. It's an amazing feat to be able to understand music theory with all your senses other than your eyes. Reminds me of the guy that plays a guitar pretty well without any arms.
Sheesh, I dunno what I would do if I ever lost my arms. I don't know what I'd do if I even just lost a finger. That would be crazy to think about, but it could happen, and I'd have to find something to do with my time. One thing that's for certain would be to spend plenty of time with my love and the kids that we'd have in the future. Sure armless, but that doesn't stop the hips from rockin', lol. But really, what could I possibly do? Can't even knit like my grandmother, step-grandmother I think? I dunno, my grandpa never really explained his relationships with my grandmothers. What makes things feel even worse is that I can't even remember any of my grandmother's names. I feel like an idiot for this, but the closest I can get is that my first grandmother on my dad's side of the family has a name that is similar to a flower. I think it is Rose, or it could be Violet. Rocket Power really through me off when i was a kid.
I don't know my family's history, was never told about it. I've heard some stories, well they're not really stories. They're just small snippets of information that didn't have much context behind it. I was named after my grandpa, and my grandpa got his middle name because it was his father's first name, or I think it was his grandfather's first name. I don't know, but my last name is Hungarian. I wish I knew more about my family's heritage. Heck, I could quite possibly be part of some royal family, lol, but the hell with it, I'll never know. The only thing I can do is live with the legacy that I lead and love the ones that mean the most to me.
Jennifer, my love, you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. With you, we will live out our legacy. Whether we stay poor, or whether we make it with reasonable wealth, enough to get by, or whether we become rich. All of these differences could happen, and within each we can find ourselves lucky to have one another together. My heart isn't in monetary wealth, but the amount of breath that can be shared with you can fill my soul for an eternity. My eyes stay closed because I can see your eyes, your amazing hair, that warm smile with your smooth lips. This is making me smile because I can see you. I'm looking with eyes closed, within my sternum's grasp. I can see you again, again and again in my heart forever.
+Bloodys Corpse+ Community Member 
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