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So I was watching the extras on the Twilight DVD the other day, and Kristen Stewart was talking about how Bella went after Edward even though he was rude. She said something about how it was kind of sadomasochistic that Edward wasn't very kind to Bella in the beginning, but yet she couldn't help herself and stay away from him. I had never thought of it like that, but all of a sudden a realization kind of hit me. I thought Oh my God, that's how I felt with Jon. He treated me like s**t, but I still went to him, it was just like I couldn't help myself. I knew he was bad for me, and that I would just end up frustrated, angry, and sad, but yet I couldn't stop myself. Until that last time, when I consciously stopped myself from talking to him. I just thought Wow, how weird. But, as it can only work out in fiction, Edward actually liked Bella; he was only trying to keep her away for his and her own good. I know Jon didn't like me. And it's not like he was a vampire. One couldn't get that lucky, right? There are modern day vampires though, who drink your energy and aura. Sometimes I felt like he could have been one of those. Sometimes he made me feel so mentally exhausted from all the frustration and internal conflict he was giving me. If he was a modern vampire, it would be one thing if I knew what he was and consented to his draining, but it's another when I'm an unwilling participant. It's kind of funny when you think of it like that. As Jon being a vampire, that is. In Twilight, Edward says his victims are drawn to him. Even his voice and smell served to draw you in. The way I kept talking to Jon, even though it was stupid of me, I kind of felt drawn to him. There seriously was something about his voice and smell that made me oddly attracted to him. Well, he's graduated now, so at least I don't ever have to see him again.
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