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I have a few minutes, so I thought I’d do a quick update about college so far. As of yet, it hasn’t been too bad, or at least not as bad as I thought it’d be. Don’t get me wrong, I always have stuff to do, but so far I’m pretty much managing it. I feel like I’m always behind in my Biology reading, but I’m not sure how important reading the textbook is at this point, since my instructor said the test material would come from lecture and labs. But then again, it’s only the second week, so things might still be slow, and I haven’t had any major exams yet, so I guess I’m not too sure how I’ll do on anything like that. The only really bad thing that’s happened is that I’m pretty sure I’m failing math right now. We did some group work, and my group didn’t finish the assignment, so we only got a 30% on it. I swear my teacher said she’d give us more time to finish, but of course, she didn’t. That, plus one week’s worth of homework is all we’ve turned in so far, so I’m pretty sure I’m failing. Even a 50% is failing, so I’m really far in the hole already. That means I have to do really good on all the tests this semester if I even want to pull a C out of the class. The odds of me doing good enough on all the tests to bring my grade up that much aren’t good. So I’m not sure how this is going to work out. So far I’ve gained no ground on the social front. I’ve barely even talked to anyone in my classes (and when I have, it was just about the class, such as my math group work), so I definitely haven’t made any friends. Since I haven’t even talked to anyone of the same sex, I’m sure you can deduce I definitely haven’t talked to any guys. Though, honestly, I haven’t seen too many cute guys. I’ve passed a couple in the hall, but I don’t have any in my classes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying everyone’s ugly, I just haven’t seen anyone that really floats my boat. But then again, I keep to myself and try not to stare at people or make eye contact, so there might be some cute guys that I just haven’t noticed. Not that I would attempt to talk to them anyways. I know it’s only been two weeks, but in the college setting, two weeks feels like a long time. I’ve pretty much given up my hope that college would be a lot different than high school, and that I’d make new friends and guys would approach me. It’s turning out to be no different on that front. Another really disappointing thing is that I haven’t seen many other gothic people, or people who dress out of the norm. I thought for sure there’d be more in college. I’ve only seen a couple even in my travels throughout campus, and I haven’t seen anyone like that in my classes. I kind of feel like I don’t fit in. I’m sure if I dressed normal, more people and guys might want to approach me, but this is who I really am, and I don’t want to give that up just to get people to like me. One thing I do like though is the freedom, and even though I’m by myself 99% percent of the time (By myself I mean not with someone to talk to. I’m never literally by myself. There are always quite a lot of people around.), it’s ok in this setting. In my high school, if you were sitting by yourself, everyone would know you didn’t have a lot of friends because everyone, for the most part, at least knew of each other. Here, no one knows anything about you, and the same people don’t see you all the time, so no one knows that you spend 99% of your time alone. I enjoy being by myself, but at the same time, sometimes it would be nice to have someone to hang with between classes. I have a lot more I could write about, but I have stuff for school I need to type. This already turned out to be a lot longer than I planned. I know this is quite an amalgam, and probably feels pretty choppy, but I was just trying to get some of my main thoughts and feelings down quickly (I know there’s also probably a lot of typos). Even though it seems like I complained a lot, so far I’d have to say my opinion of college is more positive than negative. I definitely like it better than high school so far. We’ll see if my opinion changes.
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