When you look at my eyes
What do you see?
A soul-less gaze.
A life lost in a dark haze.
A life led by endless lies.
Only to exit upon bleeding knees.
These falling tears?
They're nothing.
I've cried so many over the years.
The pain I feel isn't healing.
To find another, I'm lost in this fog.
It's impossible for me,
I'm blinded by my love for him,
Like a dog,
Excited by a treat.
These words I hold,
They rot in my mind.
They'll kill me inside,
Tortured 'til I'm cold.
I'll have no one to provide,
The warmth I've been seeking.
The blood that's been leaking,
From my heart to yours,
Disappears without a trace.
And no matter how loud I mourn.
I'll never see your beautiful face.
Because I'm lost in my own thoughts.
I'll act completely different,
To show that I'm fine
And when I'm finally alone
You'll see that I'm not.
It's not your fault,
I know its mine,
I'm too kind for my own good.
I'll submit to anyone, even myself.
I couldn't fight, even if I should.
I know this is part of puberty,
But what am I to do?
The reason I can't be with him,
Is because of my emotional insecurity...
What do you see?
A soul-less gaze.
A life lost in a dark haze.
A life led by endless lies.
Only to exit upon bleeding knees.
These falling tears?
They're nothing.
I've cried so many over the years.
The pain I feel isn't healing.
To find another, I'm lost in this fog.
It's impossible for me,
I'm blinded by my love for him,
Like a dog,
Excited by a treat.
These words I hold,
They rot in my mind.
They'll kill me inside,
Tortured 'til I'm cold.
I'll have no one to provide,
The warmth I've been seeking.
The blood that's been leaking,
From my heart to yours,
Disappears without a trace.
And no matter how loud I mourn.
I'll never see your beautiful face.
Because I'm lost in my own thoughts.
I'll act completely different,
To show that I'm fine
And when I'm finally alone
You'll see that I'm not.
It's not your fault,
I know its mine,
I'm too kind for my own good.
I'll submit to anyone, even myself.
I couldn't fight, even if I should.
I know this is part of puberty,
But what am I to do?
The reason I can't be with him,
Is because of my emotional insecurity...
~ By me
~Written: 5-21-09