Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Today is the first day of break and my first step out of Chemisty, Graphics, and History... but most importantly, it's the day I reflect on my year. Todays date is December 19th, 2008.


This school year worked some miracles on my soul. I never thought about it, really... but I truly am a different person now. The changed made about myself, thankfully, are ones only I can see and those that stay emotionally attached to me all the time. This is good: I have some personality privacy to myself for once. It's alright to want people to understand you, but not in and out... it strips you of some privacy. I just learned that this year.

I've always thought naively, always unconsciously. Prior to mid-June, I'd always worry myself over other people's feelings that weren't mine to worry over. I would always worry about hurting Jana about Jon, always afraid to hurt other people... and I'd always end up hurting myself. Always myself. Come to learn that I should think about my heart sometimes as well, because it couldn't take anymore of that kind of torture. I'm no longer afraid to hurt other people to save myself at a small price. If avoiding hurting them restricts me from the things that make me happy and that robs me of my liberty... No, just no. I cannot do it anymore. Sorry guys, new Lina's new policy. smile

I'm also not the type to wallow in self-pity anymore. What beauty is this!! Finally, after so long of torturing myself, I'm free! Free free freee~!

<33