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well, looks like i'm getting bad about regularly getting on gaia now. i knew this would happen eventually. i've just started thinking more about real life things and getting too busy for gaia. while i'd sorta rather be in the real world, i would prefer to find a nice balance between the two. i really like journaling on here, and i feel bad being so slow about getting back to my friends on here.

maybe i can find a good middle ground. i'll work on that this next week or two and see what happens.

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i keep having nightmares involving frogs o.O' more specifically, i own a frog and it always gets eaten by something. first i bought this decorative kit for halloween. it was a just-add-water sort of thing, and was supposed to expand and decorate the tank for halloween. it said it included a pirates costume ... don't ask alright. anyway, when i added water it started expanding. i went to do something else for a bit, while i waited for it to finish, and when i came back there was this giant frog O.O and it was beating up my little pet frog. i was in shock, then i moved to stop them fighting, and the bigger frog (which was wearing the pirates costume, i might add) swallowed my frog! i was so mad! and really heart broken over my frog too. there was someone there with me and i had them pull the big frog out of the tank while i went to open the door. we threw him out into the back yard. it was night time and raining. we watched him for a few minutes, and he just sat there. then he started giving us these really sad eyes, and i began to feel sorry for him. i started to consider keeping him, but that's when i woke up.

the second one, i had a really little frog, and i was playing with him or something, when my ribbon snake (which i do own irl) got out of her tank. at first i didn't think much of her being out, and was willing to let her stay out for a few minutes and play with her too, but then she ate my frog o.o in the dream i was really upset but then resigned myself to the fact that frogs were one thing a ribbon snake eats and that i should have fed her more and kept the two apart. therefore, it was my own fault. unlike the first dream in which i was thinking of suing the store or company for not adding a warning about the large frog.

irl my snake isn't supposed to eat frogs (that i'm aware of) and hates everything she is supposed to eat accept feeder gold fish o.o so even if she was meant to eat small frogs, she probably wouldn't do it.

i don't understand what these dreams mean, except that my being so distraught in the dreams must signal that i'm stressed out about something right now, and the fact that it's always a frog being eaten by something must have some sort of significance. ... i can't think what though. i don't remember what i dreamt last night, thank goodness, but i doubt the stress magically went away.

i was hoping writing about it today might help, but northing's coming to me. *sigh* i'll keep working on it though. i think if i can figure out what the frog and it's being eaten means i can figure out what it is i'm so stressed about.

fortunately it's almost a new moon, and one of my anti-stress strategies is to make a list of stressors and while the moon wanes and then meditate on it and work on letting go of the stress until the moon is new, at which point i burn the list and consider the issues gone (hopefully i've found ways of turning things more positive in the meditation and can start building positive defenses and/or better habits to correct the stressors as the moon waxes.