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i'm happy to say that that friend of mine who's suicidal seems to be coming around to a brighter point of view.

today she told me she wanted to stop cutting. that she was addicted, but wanted to stop. so i gave her some ideas and she took off with them. i mean, she seemed genuinely hopeful and excited by our conversation.

i'm going to do everything i can to help her stop cutting. i think this could be a first step to conquering her negative view of life and thus her depression.

i'm really hopeful for her.

oh, i almost forgot to mention the best part: when we were kicking ideas back and forth for how she could over come her cutting, she was coming up with long term ideas. not only did she have an attitude of hope and wanting to quit (which why would she care if she was still focused on killing her self the middle of this month), but she was talking about what she could do over the summer and how to follow it up in the winter! Winter! she's thinking about being alive in the winter! i'm so excited i could just explode!!!

i have to confess there's a little self satisfaction in there too, because my stupid counselor was acting like i was such an idiot to be trying to help this girl (you may recall that entry), and here she is turning towards a path out, rather then getting worse and dragging me down with her (as my councilor predicted).

speaking of the councilor, i canceled my last two appointments with her for this year. i haven't been to see her since she criticized me, and i don't intend to ever see her again. at least, not as a client.

i test called the other day, and asked the receptionist if she could tell me who was doing walk-ins and she told me without blinking an eye! so i can call before ever walk-in and make sure it's not her day, then i have no fears of running into her. hell, i could probably even call and ask what days she'll be taking walk-ins in general. it's not like it would be odd of me to do so (since i'm supposed to try and come in on her days). yes, that's what i'll do. the start of every quarter i'll ask, and i'll double check randomly throughout the quarter too.

life is looking alright at the moment. even if i do have to get a summer job razz