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I've been thinking alot about what I need to make my art what I want it to be. I've come to a conclusion that I should probably be cleansing, in order to be inspired, and re-capture the sense of get-up-and-go that I had in my freshman year of high school.

About two days ago, I had a huge argument with some friends of mine. I have several groups of friends throughout my school, but they were my "main gang". Something I noticed that had run rampant with passive-aggression. Only maybe two of the members of our little coterie(myself included) would, for the sake of avoiding arguments, bring up problems and personal qualms as they appeared. No reason to let things stew until we're all at eachother's throats over tiny stuff, right?

Well, that's what happened with everyone else. No one would speak. They were too caught up with keeping the appearance that they were accepting of all forms of lifestyles and opinions when really, several alternate story-lines, grudges, and inner-squabbles were going on without the three of us knowing a thing, resulting in backlash that came suddenly and without warning. Yet, as we asked what was wrong, we got a half-hearted smile and a "Oh, everything's fine" in return.

To make a long story short, I cut ties. I spoke with a few of them and told them that because we'll be in school together for another year, we could be cordial, but I was tired of being treated badly, and having my feelings disregarded. I feel freed, in a sense, from not keeping their company, and actually feel a little artistically unblocked. I've got all these new ideas, and I've even started listening to a new genre of music that makes me just sit down, turn off the TV, and work on my pieces(Ambient music -- who knew? A good gateway song, in my opinion, is "Staying" by Koda -- very native-american spiritual) and watching speedpaints. Watching someone else work on a piece and make what is to me, the viewer, a perfect product, extremely inspiring. It makes me want to grab a brush and start working myself. biggrin

I've also been trying to find out what work environment suits me best: So far, through trial end error, I've found that natural light(an open window) or soft lighting(instead of turning on your cieling fan light, for instance, try a clamp-lamp from Home Depot -- only $5) helps me create an atmosphere that doesn't seem so generic or man-made, like a school classroom. Next is the afformentioned ambiant music -- it's also good to turn off your television... a fact that I hated until I realized how nice it felt. 3nodding Then you're going to want to find some art or an artist you like to keep them on tab -- I have a tumblr(check my signature for the URL) that I follow some extremely inspiring artists, and looking at their updates just really gets me going!

At the moment, I plan on starting two paintings today -- one is a large 2.5 x 2 foot painting in black-tea, and the other is a large acrylic painting. I'm going to TRY to get both of those done today. I may do some character art, since you have to design some for an animation portfolio... plus, I just need a means of exercise to keep myself going. If I can produce a steady stream of art, I can really get my art tumblr up and running.

Love and literature,

Kayla.