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jhk's journal (readers beware......)
hi, im jhk (but you already knew that, right?). well, this journal is about everything.......yes, everything, and that most likely will include you one day. so, see something you dont like? then BEAT IT PUNK!!! (thats right, im talking to you....
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ugh....ever feel sooooo bad, and disgusted with yourself over something that everyone else would call small, but you call humongously important? well, i had yearbook pictures today....and, well, it was a hectic day, but i managed to go to all of them....except for one. film club. my most favorite club, the club i have gone to since freshmen year, the club with the people who i feel are close enough to ME.....yeah...i missed the photos, and the worst part was, i knew when, in the back of my mind, i knew when i had to go. however, i didnt. i feel soooo bad now....and, because of me not being there, everyone was all "where is he? we cant do this without him?" which, when i heard this later from my gf, made me feel sooooooo super bad, lame, and guilty inside. ugh.....the holidays make most people super happy, but me....more things tend to go wrong around that time for me. i feel so terrible all the time....and it sucks. sometimes, i feel soooooo bad about something, even something as small as missing a photo, that i feel horribly sick for days....and its almost x-mas! ugh. ..............i have to make it up....while there is no way that i can ever be in the club picture this year, i could make it up to them by....bringing the club something? yeah, i think that would work. i could bring.....yeah, i have just the thing. everyone likes food, and i always have the "magic lunchbox" full of all sorts of things. soooooooo....i think that i will bring in a giant tub of cookies to make up for it, and probably another type of snack for the president, the vegitarian of the group.
so, i feel terrible, will for days unless something SUPER good happens, will probably become ill, and i feel so guilty by desicrating and dissapointing my club like that....but, i know a way to start not only getting back in the game, but healing my wounds too.....maybe, just maybe, i know a way to help me get all the way back (although that might take more than i think....). its always worth a try though.
 jayhkayjr · Mon Dec 22, 2008 @ 08:32pm · 1 Comments |
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