First off, I'd like to say that I have a big mouth and that saying my opinions in front of my conservatiive parents is a very bad idea. I got lucky that I didn't spurt out what my religious beliefs are. But I mentioned how I didn't mind gay marriage and that was an interesting conversation after my dad didn't like how I wasn't into guns anymore and how I thought a few things in the government were pissing me off. They found it an insult to what they had built up for us (me and my siblings) that I thought gay marriage was alright and that it held the same candle to their marriage. I didn't say that, but it apparently was implied in their eyes. So the convo was ened by my mother saying that they didn't wanna have conversations that got too into politics or religion under their roof. So yeah...I must remain silent about my opinions as much as possible anytime I come to be under their roof. So yeah...which leads me to my next big thing for me.
They seem to like reminding me that I know very little and don't wanna give me credit for trying to figure things out still. Seems that a lot of people do that to me and for good reason too. I am a space case. I'm too optimistic and when I try to keep happy, someone close to me has to slap me in the face somehow. Yeah I stay in the clouds too much. I'm pretty irresponsible and procrastinate a lot. I can't keep out of drama very easily since I'm a lot of the drama. I'm a pretty poor judge of character and am too trusting. But I know I don't like being told that I'm full of crap just because I think something is wrong. When I think being close minded is wrong to be, I'm full of crap. If I think that being gay is fine, then I'm full of crap. If I think that taking a risk at something that may have any kind of outcome that cannot be predicted is great, then I'm full of crap. I think a few people get tired of seeing me ride the fence. Well it's kinda hard to choose a side when I'm gonna get snapped at by both sides for something I think doesn't feel right. Out of everything I've learned so far, I have yet to figure out how to stop letting myself feel so helpless; cuz I know I'm pretty sensitive and am easy to poke fun at. Gods...I'm such a big baby.
 Manmaru · Mon Mar 21, 2005 @ 07:35am · 2 Comments |
