Kingdom Hearts Chronicles 1.3
G: Garsh Sora, you think it’s necessary to destroy all the worlds on the way to find Riku and the King? Hyuck
S: Worlds? I thought I was watching The Price is Right.
B: Alright Sora, you need to guess the price of this antique key blade and its all yours…but when you guess the price, I say higher or lower, and then you have to guess again until you get it. Remember, you only have 30 seconds, ready? Go.
S: 3 munny?
B: Higher Sora.
S: 5 munny?
B: Lower.
S: 6 munny?
B: Umm… Lower Sora, that means down.
S: One Billion munny!
B: Lower you idiot!
S: 3 munny?
B: Sorry Sora but you failed, times up. The correct price was 4 munny. Better luck next time.
S: Stupid Bob Barker.
A: Hey Riku, wanna be evil?
R: Yaaaaaaaahhhh no.
A: Oh c’mon, you’ll get the dark key blade. A weapon so powerful it can destroy an entire world with one blow.
R: As much fun as that sounds, there’s not that many worlds left to destroy.
A: Oh… oh right… Sora. Well you can have this darkness suit.
R: Ohh, nice lace at the bottom, color speaks of feminity and I really think it will show off my- Hwy! That’s a dress man!
A: Ahh… your smarter than you look. Ahhhm.. All I have left are these paper clips.
R: I’m in! …WAIT A MINUTE…
A: MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH RAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
S: Are we there yet? Etc
G: You’re flying the ship we’ve been there for 2 hours! Give me the controls so we can land!
S: Excuse me, but I think I know a thing or two about Inter-Space-Landing. It’s not rocket science.
D: Sora, now don’t do anything stupid. Just press the LAND button.
S: Oh crap. I don’t know what any of these words mean. Well… green means go, and red means stop… sooo…
R: OH, oh Sora, I’ve been expecting you.
S: Riku! Why are you helping the heartless? And more importantly, why are you wearing a dress?
R: Well actually when I chose this dress I thought that the lace brought out my- Hey! You don’t like my dress! BRING IT ON! Ow! What was that?
S: Oh, uh… it’s a zero.
R: It was a what now?
S: Oh, well you see, uh…never mind.
R: Uhh…if I had the power of that key blade.. I would be UN-STOPABLE!
S: Well, if I had a chicken, we’d laugh and cry and travel the world… and… sing! Wow, this is more embarrassing than that unfortunate trinity accident.
S: Oh, I’m sorry guys. Huh, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
D: Ugh, ok, on 3. 1...2...3!
S: Ohh, I thought you meant 1, 2, 3 GOO! Sorry guys, OK, 1...2...
D: Look Sora! We found Kairi!
S: Ok guys, you watch over Kairi. I’m going to chase Riku into that mysterious dark abyss that he MIGHT have gone into.
K: Um… where am I? Haven’t I seen you guys in a cartoon from the 1930’s?
G: Don’t worry about that now, we need to escape!
S: Darkness. Falling into the eternal abyss deep into the depths of my heart. I can feel my life slipping… Hey, this isn’t so bad. Yea, nice view, good weather. Yeah I should get an apartment down here.
SC: Welcome to the realm of darkness trebek. Fancy meeting you here.
S: Sean Connery?
SC: Um... no… this is… Frank…from uhh… marketing.
S: Ok.. Frank. Well, tell me about this place.
SC: Our stat color is black. Our state flower is the “Black Rose”.
S: Hey! Isn’t that the-
SC: Shut up! Our state bird, is the canary.
S: Canary? Why not the raven?
SC: Um… we lost it in a poker game to Sun-Shiney-Happy-Land. God knows what they’re doing with it.
*Sunshine lollipop and rainbows everything that wonderful is what I feel around when we’re together*
S: Uh.. Huhhh. Uhh, so what do you guys do for fun around here?
SC: We usually send the new heartless up to the Earth and what them struggle.
S: Ah, I see… Hey! Wait a minute! HUH?! Big yellow eyes? Antennae? Small body? I’ve been turned into a butterfly! Well thorax or not, I shall save the world! Hwaaah! Hmm, can’t fly. I must be a heartless. That was my second guess. Nevertheless, I shall prevail! Whoa matrix! Wshoooooo!
D: Hey! That heartless just killed itself.
S: I’m still alive you idiot.
K: Only one person is that clumsy. Sora? Oh no! You’re a heartless!
S: Yeah, its not so bad, at least those rogue vampires won’t try to eat me anymore. Hey hey! Cut that out! Hey, Kairi has a cookie in her pocket!
K: Oh, oh Sora you’re back to normal!
S: Brown hair? Blue eyes? Dorky clown shoes? SKIN? I must be a butterfly!
D: No Sora, you’re human again!
S: Oh yea, that was my second guess. C’mon guys, we need to find Riku, but first I must seal the keyhole to Hollow Bastion!
S: whoops! Uhh I missed. Ohh… I thought this would be A LOT easier. Can I get like… a ladder or something? Ohh… Jeez. OH, OH OH! Almost! Eh… Ahhh, there we go! …Ok… uh… I got it… and… now what? Do I like… um… does confetti come out? Or like… something like that? I dunno.
G: Sora! Sora, Sora… you need to jiggle it.
S: Excuse me, “Goofy”. I believe “I’m” the key blade master. I’ve done this before.
D: What are you talking about? This is the first time we’ve ever done this!
S: Shut up Donald, I’m listening to my instincts.
D: Last time you did that you got your hand stuck in the mailbox.
S: Oh yea! Go Sora! Go Sora! It’s your birthday, not really. Alright, cheering time is over, now we need to find Riku… Well… We’re on scene 4. And the amazingly awesome climactic fight with “Ansem” is on scene 6 Stage 2. So uh, does anyone really care? I just kinda like skip up that instead? Well that was fast, wait who’s that?
A: It is I, ANSEM!
S: Who?
A: Ansem.
S: Who?
A: The guy you thought was good.
S: Who?
A: ME!
S: Who?
A: ANSEM!
S: Who?
A: You… collected my report.
S: What report?
A: It’s in your hand right now.
S: I’m what now?
A: You’re holding it.
S: I’m not following you.
A: COME ON! It’s in your HAND!
S: Yea… hmmmm… yes… Darkness… take over you… blah blah blah. Heartless? Who are they? Yea… hmmm… that… that is… not interesting.
A: Now do you know who I am?
S: …Nope.
A: Are you stupid or something?
S: Who’s stupid?
A: YOU!
S: Oh, Goofy? I kinda figured.
A: Uuuhhhhgg.
S: Are you, Ansem? I see… and who am I?
A: Nevermind, Now I, Ansem shall open the door and unleash darkness onto the world!
S: Listen mysterious stranger, I don’t know who you are, or what you’re trying to do, and I’m fairly certain I don’t know what most of the words you just said means, but I must stop you! Little help guys?
D: Got any threes?
K: Nope!
G: How did you beat him?
S: Well… I started to cry and then when he looked away feeling sorry for me, I… I won fair and square… withOUT degrading myself.
K: Sora!
S: Kairi! I’ll see you again, cookie!
G: So what do we do now?
S: Well… I guess we need to find Riku and the King. Hey! Look! A road! Lets run down it for no reason!! Guys guys… I feel like we forgot to do something… something important… o well!
R: This would be easier if I had help… There we go! Stupid lazy Sora!
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