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What happiness can you really see in my face? is it happiness to see you? happiness to see that you bring me nothing but pain and misery? or is it happiness knowing that somewhere deep in your heart, you can envision me dying a slow painful death by your hand? cuz i can tell you, the only happiness i can see in my smile, is knowing that in my mind, my heart and my soul, there is a tortured angel, crying for death, knowing that it'll elude him like a plague, for he is immortal, subject to what we believe to be eternal life. so then think again about what happiness you can see in my smile, and know that it is not what you think, but different.

what sadness can you see in my eyes? do you see my tears? can you see what pain you have caused me? what torture i am faced with day to day? can you see what is hidden beneath a mask of false emotions? no, of course not, and you never will. you have already taken away what happiness i could have strived for, and you will not take from me what happiness i can squeeze from the hands that bind my soul, that drain from me what i've been keeping inside, as a reminder of what i used to be, and my dream of what i wish to become once more.

What pain can you cause me, to make me happy? can you torture me, tear me from limb to limb, cut my heart out and leave it beating before me, a pathetic, weak little thing, slowly but surely breathing its last breaths, before it dies, and crumbles into dust, to be borne away by the wind. can you show me what is hidden inside me, tear it from my mind and place it before me, take it from the grip of my mind, so that it will ever again affect me with it's vile poison, making me believe that happiness is just around the corner, all i need do is walk there, and reach my hand out and grasp it. but which way to walk? which corner do i turn? how do i know that i've made the right choice? can you tell me that you wretched thing? can you tell me which way will lead me to the light? i'm waiting...what is your answer? can you tell me or are you even listening?

What anger do you think i feel? is it just anger, or is it raw hatred? is it pure indignation or will it simply fall short of being nothing more than a fools dream? can you tell me that then? why must i live with this inside my head, thinking of the things that happened in my life that i wish to forget? i'm still waiting....