This survey is about the relationship between mother and child. So, with your childhood relationship with your mother in mind pick a number 1-5 that rates how true the statement is for you and write it on a piece of paper (don’t forget to number your paper!). When you are done follow the directions at the bottom of the page
*note: This survey does include some math skills like adding, so be ready to use your brains (those smart people who can add a whole bunch of numbers in their head) or break out a calculator (If your like me and either to lazy to do the math or can’t add without writing it down)
1= Strongly Disagree
2=Disagree
3=Neither agree nor disagree
4=Agree
5=Strongly Agree
___ 1. While I was growing up my mother felt that in a well-run home the children should have their own way in the family as often as the parents do
___ 2. Even if her children didn’t agree with her, my mother felt that it was for our own good if we were forced to conform to what she thought was right
___ 3. Whenever my mother told me to do something as I was growing up, she expected me to do it immediately without asking any questions.
___ 4. As I was growing up, once family policy had been established, my mother discussed the reasoning behind the policy with the children in the family
___ 5. My mother always encouraged verbal give-and-take whenever I have felt that family rules and restrictions were unreasonable
___6. My mother has always felt that what children need is to be free to make up their own minds and to do what they want to do, even if this does not agree with what their parents might want
___7. As I was growing up my mother directed the activities and decisions of the children in the family through reasoning and discipline
___8. As I was growing up my mother did not allow me to question any decision she made
___9. My mother has always felt that more force should be used by parents in order to get their children to behave the way they are supposed to
___10. As I was growing up my mother did not feel that I needed to obey rules and regulations of behavior simply because someone in authority had established them
___11. As I was growing up I knew what my mother expected of me in my family, but I also felt free to discuss those expectations with my mother when I felt that they were unreasonable
___12. My mother felt that wise parents should teach their children early just who was boss in the family
___13. As I was growing up, my mother seldom gave me expectations and guidelines for my behavior
___14. As the children in my family were growing up, my mother constantly gave us directions and guidance in rational and objective ways
___15. As I was growing up my mother would get very upset if I tried to disagree with her
___16. Most of the time as I was growing up my mother did what the children in the family wanted when making family decisions
___17. My mother feels that most problems in society would be solved if parents would not restrict their children’s activities, decisions, and desires as they are growing up
___18. As I was growing up my mother would let me know what behavior she expected of me, and if I didn’t meet those expectations, she punished me
___19. As I was growing up my mother allowed me to decide most things for myself without a lot of direction
___20. As I was growing up my mother took the children’s opinions into consideration when making family decisions, but she would not decide on something simply because the children wanted it
___21. My mother did not view herself as responsible for directing and guiding my behavior as I was growing up
___22. My mother had clear standards of behavior for the children in our home as I was growing up, but she was willing to adjust those standards to the needs of each of the individual children in the family.
___23. My mother gave me direction for my behavior and activities as I was growing up and she expected me to follow for direction, but she was always willing to listen to me concerns and to discuss the direction with me
___24. As I was growing up my mother allowed me to form my own point of view on family matters and she generally allowed for me to decide on my own what to do
___25. My mother has always felt that most problems in society would be solved if we could get parents to strictly and forcibly deal with their children when they don’t do what their supposed to do as they are growing up
___26. As I was growing up my mother often told me exactly what she wanted me to do and she expected me to do it
___27. As I was growing up my mother gave me clear direction for my behaviors and activities, but she was also understanding when I disagreed with her
___28. As I was growing up my mother did not direct the behaviors, activities, and desires of the children in the family.
___29. As I was growing up I knew what my mother expected of me in the family and she insisted that I conform to those expectations simply out of respect for her authority
___30. As I was growing up, if my mother made a decision in the family that hurt me, she was willing to discuss that decision with me and admit it if she had made a mistake.
Okay, there are three type of parenting styles (Permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative) and there were three different types of statements, each one having to do with one of the styles. So all you have to do is add together the numbers you put down for each parenting style.
Permissive questions #’s: 1, 6, 10, 13, 16, 17, 19, 21, 24, 28
Authoritarian questions #’s: 2, 3, 8, 9, 12, 15, 18, 25, 26, 29
Authoritative questions #’s: 4, 5, 7, 11, 14, 20, 22, 23, 27, 30
The style with the highest number is the style your mother choose. Permissive parenting is like when the parent does not put down a lot of rules or punishments, they are very easy going parents. Authoritarian parents are very strict and expect their children to conform to what they believe and follow all the rules that they set down without question. Authoritative parenting is the balance between the two. They allow their children to make their own decisions, but they let their voices be heard as well. Although there is nothing wrong with any of them the style with the best results is the authoritative style.
My Results:
Permissive pts: 11
Authoritative pts: 22
Authoritarian pts: 48
So what are your results? Let me know!
