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i am a fool to believe that i can ever truly be happy, because what happiness is there to gain that a momentary smile from my friends? smiles last only seconds at a time, but hapiness, true happiness may or may not last for a lifetime, but stays, lingers longer than a smile ever could. that is the happiness that i seek, that is the light that eludes me like a plague...but why does it do this to me? why does it slip away when i am so close to grasping it? why does it slip through my fingers when i finally do get close enough to touch it? can i not truly be happy? or it that too an illusion?