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Hi everyone. I checked in today and I forgot that unread PM's seem to disappear after a month, so if I don't sign in before that I'll never see them.
If you want to reach me, leave a comment in my journal, preferably on the most recent entry.
If you want to know how I'm doing, I just had my birthday, and I'm still here, another year, trying to make something out of my life. If you called me a person who gives up, well guess what, I'm still here, still trying.
The situation I'm in is still frustrating though. I've given it my all, spent all my savings and done everything I can if it had even the tiniest chance of working. I've even been willing to try treatments with serious risks. Unfortunately, it's all been for nothing. And that's why I'm frustrated. I believed if you did your best it would mean something, but it hasn't.
It seems that the word "love" means nothing to people, and if you are sick then you are automatically worth less than a person who is healthy. Actions mean nothing--determination, all the money, all the doctors I've been to, all the effort I put into things have meant nothing to anyone.
If I'm so easily forgotten, then it didn't matter if I tried this hard or not. That is why I say my efforts mean nothing to you. Whether I'm here or not you don't even notice. How could I feel "valued" to you, or anyone like this?
It's hard to feel useful to society if I am hardly able to manage school, let alone work. I tried going to college three times you know.
On top of this I am forgotten by people I've worked my fingers to the bone for.
Can you see why I am unhappy? Yet I'm still here, tryng to make something out of this life I was given. I just don't understand why life has turned out this way.
Community Member