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I'm really sad
because I had
a dream about you.
It hasn't happened
in a while,
but now it's frequent.
I wake up sad,
and my whole day
is slow and heavy.
I keep thinking
about last time I
saw you.
Before,
I thought about
the whole trip,
but now I can
only think about the end.
I think about the kiss.
I think about how i stopped you,
I think about taking you back
to the base.
I think about my mom saying
"see you soon, honey'',
but i knew that I wouldn't see you again.
I know I will see you.
We live in such a small town.
It helps that i moved,
but I've seen you a few times...
I know I will never "see" you again.
Not the way we have before.
I broke down...
After my dream, i had to
look you up on facebook
to see how you were
doing.
You look so happy with
your baby.
His hair is so blonde...
I wonder if it will turn to your color?
Your hair was so orange when you
were a baby.
It looks like her.
He's getting so big.
Has it been that long already?
I think about
that too...
Valentines day...
when you had your baby.
How your mom's friend told me.
I'm not even sure why she told me.
I always wonder
if you
think about
me.
Or if
you still
love
me.
I know
it's been a long time.
I should be over it all,
but every once in a while,
like now,
I think about everything that happened.
I still cry.
It probably
doesn't
cross
your mind.
I still love you.
Even after all these years.
I know it's pathetic...
I usually just
live my life
normally...
But when I dream about you..
Well,
I just can't help feeling like this.
In my dreams
I can see you
so clearly.
It's so vivid
and feels real.
I think that's why
I have such a hard time
after.
I wonder
if you
dream about
me...?
You're much
stronger
than me.
You always have been...
So when you think of me
your heart probably doesn't pull
the way mine does.
You have always been faithful
and brave.
So I can only imagine that
she
is the only thing you focus on.
I try to do the same.
Every once in a while,
this happens.
Anyways,
I wanted to write it out
because my thoughts were driving me insane.
I hope
when I go to sleep tonight,
i will dream about something else.
Three nights in a row
would be too much
I think.
I think you've
been brought up
enough this week.
Please go away
for a while.
So i can rest.