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Just Another Journal~
Day One : 30 Day Journal Challenge
30 Day Journal Challenge.

Things you want to say to your ex.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxDear Nino,

One of the things that I've always wanted to say to you is that you're a very, very easy person to fight with. That's one of the things that tore us apart. I hated fighting with you and I always got into such a bad mood when we did fight. And we fought at least once a day towards the end of our relationship. So, I feel like ending things there may have been a good thing.

Another thing I've always wanted to say is that I hate how we ended things. We ended them so badly. You broke me, scarred me, and I'm so insecure about a lot of things now. I know that you were mad so you said things you didn't mean, and I was mad so I said and did things that I didn't mean, but I still think that things should have ended before hand. I've always wondered why you would lead me on, thinking that we still had a chance if you were with someone else. I knew that we weren't going to last much longer, so I take some responsibility, but it really broke me knowing that you were with both of us at the same time.

I don't have just bad things to say to you. I don't regret us dating what-so-ever. You were a really big part of my life. You were my best friend for almost seven years. You got me through two different step-moms, the days that I was bullied and thought I had no one else to go to, and you were always sure to make me feel like I was special. You tried helping me with my insecurities and you didn't mind that I was awkward or shy. And I could always count to see you at my choir concerts. When we started dating, I felt so awkward around you. And things were awkward for a good three to four months. After the awkward stage, it was more like doing things with your best friend all the time. So, it was nice. Around the eighth month is when things started to break with us, but I learned to be stronger because of it.

I want to thank you. Without you, I wouldn't be who I am today. I probably still wouldn't understand sarcasm, or learned how to fight back, or know what it's like to be tackled. I probably wouldn't know the gummy bear song. I would probably still be friends with Jessica, unless she did that with another one of my boyfriends. I would probably not have watched the Bachelorette or Wife Swap. So thank you for making me stronger. Before that experience, I never knew what it was like to hurt like that and because of that I was able to grow. We ended things badly, but I hope life takes you far.





 
 
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