Have you ever wondered why you get butterflies when thinking about someone or when you are with someone? I looked it up one day and it is due to adrenaline that pumps through your system. So, this 'butterfly' feeling gets me every time. When I feel butterflies, I can't help but laugh. I don't know if it makes me nervous or maybe it's because I just want to smile.
Today I was sitting and thinking about the person that I like and out of nowhere I felt butterflies. Which, of course, made me instantly start laughing and smiling. I love being able to think of someone and just smile. It's the beginning stages of love.
Love is such a crazy thing. It's so easy to love someone. The act of loving is so simple, it's crazy. It's the act of allowing yourself to love that is hard. The initial 'I love you' is the absolute hardest thing to do, at least from my perspective.
When I first tell someone that I love them, I want to be able to mean it full heartedly. I don't want it to be one of those things that I just throw out there. So, I have to really think about it. And, I can feel myself wanting to open up and declare feelings. But first, I want to give myself a little bit more time. And I definitely want to first express my feelings in person. How lame would that be to say your first 'I love you' over a text message?
To be honest, I am so excited to do some falling in love. I want to love full heartedly and give my everything. To fall in love with my best friend. I want to be comfortable and be able to be myself, inside and out. It would be wonderful. I want to be able to stay in on a rainy day and be able to read by a window with him. Even if we are doing two different things. I want to cuddle up to him as we sleep. And I want to be able to be completely open and not afraid to say things.
I know in time I will be able to do things like this. I just need that time, and I need to spend time with him, too. Even if I can't see him every day, those moments that I am able to see him will be completely worth it and I will cherish every second of it.
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