"I am broker than broke" is an anual saying in my house. My mother is religious with that saying. Yet, she has enough money to go out and buy fast food for months and months. Every day. Night after night. Soda and burgers and tacos. It gets really old, really fast. Also, she's constantly buying cigarettes. Every two days.
My father gives her child support. And I feel guilty because she makes him. He has no money. Yet, he's paying child support to two different women. One of the kids , he doesn't even get to see. Yet, my mother uses the child support on herself. She makes me buy everything with my own money from my 'job'. Being a sixteen year old on a salary of 100 a month. Having to pay for gas, personal supplies, and things I want is pretty hard.
I would understand if she made me pay for my wants. We actually had agreed on that one. But, when you have to pay 30 dollars every week for gas when you only have one hundred to live on is pretty hard.
My dad is constantly getting mad. He's counting down the days until I turn eighteen so that he doesn't have to pay her any more. Both my mom and my grandmother find it normal that she spends the check on herself. My grandma actually told her to stop spending it all. To save it for when she wont get pain anymore. Which really drives me nuts.
I guess my whole point to this ramble is that I'm just bitter about the situation. I don't truly understand. The money that would usually be helping buy groceries and personal things for me is being used to buy cigarettes and fast food for her.
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Rest assured, their own misguided behavior will be their undoing, in this life and in the age to come, if they don't turn away from it; clearly, your father's unfaithfulness has caught up to him like a snare and has manifested in the pitiful situation you are now witnessing (being taken advantage of by a woman he isn't in eternal covenant with). On a positive note, now you see the results of the carnal choices he made. Don't repeat them.
I encourage you to diligently seek the righteous paths, avoid trouble, and be content in all circumstances. All of those lead to a permanent inner peace. That—righteousness, justice, contentment, peace—is what the Kingdom of Heaven is full of and anyone who seeks after this will have all their material needs met (not necessarily luxuries though razz ). Work hard at what you do, ask for divine intervention and opportunities will open up. If you walk a blameless path, trusting in YHWH's wisdom, and being diligent in all things (even in the smallest of responsibilities) you'll escape your current situation; circumstances may unravel in such a way to liberate you from the lot you were dealt. Keep things in perspective as well: only 2 more years and if your mother needs help from you, and you're the money-winner in the situation, she'll have to submit to you and your ways for how your money will be spent. Since you're still in a "dependent" position, there's not much you can do right now. You can point out her unfairness, help and convince her to make healthier decisions, and be that ever encouraging voice to do the right thing.
May God's peace be with you. heart
" ... yet not my will, but yours be done." - (Luke 22:42)
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