So, I keep thinking and thinking and this absolutely has to be my year. I have to get out of here and start my life, I am sick of taking care of my damn brother and sisters when they are old enough and have a mother and father. The major thing stopping me ... I don't know what to do.
I remember when I was younger and I kept telling my love that we should just get a car and just run away together, I kept telling her that for like a year and her being a realist she said no and the more I asked it just got her mad, so I stopped. My friend recently telling me to start my life and to just take a bus somewhere has inflamed that once again. BUT, there is no confidence here and my people skills are terrible and I've been so sheltered most my life. Yet still, this has to be my year and I have to get over this. I have to do something, not only for myself, but for my sweet love. I love her with a passion still and I believe if I do something big and drastic and important with my life it will prove that I am serious about her. That I want her utterly and completely.
The last time I felt this great push, this anticipation was when I was going to get my diploma. I had one week left with only two days available to me, I needed the entire week. The lady that was in charge of scheduling wouldn't give me the entire week. Luckily for me I had three great staff members with me, and she got me that week. I think I had about ten credits left, seriously, I worked my a** off like I never ever did before. I would come home from school and do essays all night, I would do my chapter reviews, everything for an entire week straight. My two teachers would correct it, I would test and quiz on it. On the last day, Friday, I only had one credit left, I was so upset and nervous my stomach was aching. I didn't past the test by one point, but my teacher reviewed it and asked me the question I got wrong again. I graduated that Friday with ten credits and a week. It felt ******** marvelous.
I am not a realist, I don't believe in limits, I don't know how, but I want to escape.
 Wicked Alyce · Sun Mar 10, 2013 @ 10:08pm · 0 Comments |
