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12/14/12, Friday!

Welcome everyone to BrightEyes Blog!

So, the reason I started this blog was honestly because I had prayed to God earlier, and it lead me to start this blog. I prayed and found out my dream. How did I get to this point?

Yesterday my fiance and I were talking about this historic building in town, that's right on the highway so it's a good site for a business, the building is for sale, and he wants to follow his dream.

His dream is to run his own Japanese tea shop/coffee house/bakery/etc, all in one. In other words, a relaxing environment for everyone to enjoy. Across the street is a park, so it would appeal to everyone of all ages, and plus there are churches nearby, so with location and appeal, it would honestly be perfect.

My problem with this, was when he originally told me this, I wanted to share his dream. To do what I could to be a part of it, for we are planning to get married so I've thrown ideas out to him, but it seems....I believe he's pushed me to the side lines without realizing it. I'm so happy for him following his dream, getting his parents to help renovate it, hiring his aunt to cook, but where does that leave me? I don't want to be the pretty-faced waitress or management/business person and I'm not keen on being a cashier either. Sometimes, I feel as if he treats me like I'm fragile. You know that feeling? He mentioned to me that tomorrow he would call and get a tour of the place. He hadn't asked or mentioned if I wanted to go and he was kinda hesitant and said "if you're available" and "well, your health problems...." and it's true, my health has gotten in the way of my life, but that's the past now.

I was in distraught. There's no way right now that I can help. Of course, everything is just in the idea stages so I can't do much to begin with, but I feel like I can't be a part of his dream other than to be a loving-supporting wife and give him children and help raise them.

So what did I do? I prayed to God. And I remembered a bible verse, Deuteronomy 4:29, "Seek me with all of your heart, and you will find me". And, that's exactly what I did. I prayed. Then, I looked deep inside myself, closing out everything I was unsure of and just looked into my heart. I remember since I was little my mom always saw me as a nurse. Yet, I'm not supposed to be a nurse. I'm supposed to be a healer.

Some say, well you can be a nurse and heal patients like a CNA or caregiver. I've been there and done that, and I'm thankful for that experience, but, that's not the healing I was meant to do the rest of my life.

By healer, I mean to help others through my own experiences. I don't know which road it will lead me down, but I know inside my dream is to be a healer.

Motivational speaker
Physical therapist
Massage therapist

Those are just a few. God has a plan for me, and here's how I'm going to be that healer, whichever one I may be:

Right now, I'm supposed to connect with God and renew my faith. God will lead me down the right path. To break free from my illness and fragile body that I've been, first I must get into physical shape and improve my diet as I connect with God by being baptized, being immersed in the teachings, and finding a church to call my own. I feel to get into that routine that I am supposed to take up membership at a local gym, and learn. It's a few hundred dollars, but I believe it will be worth it. That's for my physical and spiritual part.

During this time I will improve my mentality by learning. Before I can go to school for my future career, I'm going to need money, so during this time I will be working. I've decided to improve mentality I will read up on things and learn new things as well. If i'm building a body and spirit, I can't forget to build up my mind.

Now, I won't forget to follow my heart. Another part wants me to be a writer. This blog is just step one. To heal others, I will end up writing a biography perhaps, that even if the world can't see it, my children and their children and so on will.

It's kind of funny, how God makes everything work out. It's wonderful. For it was someone else's dream that inspired my dreams that I've decided to follow, that lead me to start this blog. God wants me to be a healer, it's what I desire. With faith, I shall see where He leads me. Never forget, ther'e's always hope.

God Bless!