Entry~
Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better for me to stay in the forest.
Sometimes I wonder just how little I've been showing my love to these people, how much of it I've been admitting to myself.
Sometimes I wonder how I went from the girl in the background to actually being talked to.
Sometimes I wonder just what emotions are lying in me.
Sometimes I wonder if I HAVE emotions.
Sometimes I wonder where my breaking point is.
Sometimes I wonder where things went wrong.
Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off without emotion.
Sometimes I wonder if I've caused these people more stress than anything.
Sometimes I wonder when all of this is going to end.
I feel like I've been giving the strings to my friend's hearts, and the more they walk away from eachother and the more I still have them in my hands, the more they unravel. The more they fall apart.
It's my fault, isn't it? It's my fault that Jinx turned away. It's my fault Rika is so scared, it's my fault she has a hole in her stomach.
I do care. I DO care, no matter if I show it to one person more than the other. I'm making their hearts fall apart.
I feel like I can't talk anymore. I can't hear the birds, I can't hear anything. I won't be able to hear their voices anymore, I won't be able to hear the comforting patter of a thunderstorm, I won't be able to use my hearing to help anyone...
What kind of elf am I? First the tips of my ears are cut off, and now I've gone deaf. The gift Mother Earth gave me, the one I used to be so dependent on, the one I used to hear the animals singing...
It's gone. All I can hear is White Noise. I'm not an elf anymore.
I'm scared.
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(This seems to be written at another time.)
It's happened. She's gone.
She's gone she's gone she's gone.
What do I do? What does Watermeat do?
I miss her already.
She left she left SHE'S GOING TO DIE IF WE DON'T GO AFTER HER
We're going after her. My mind feels jumbled up, full of words I only understand half of. Maybe it's good that I can't hear anything else.
I can see her, though. I saw her through that old book. I saw her get slapped by that horrible father of her's, saw her shoulders slump when she passed into the barrier.
Everything is just racing in my head, going and going and going. Because she's gone.
I lost the string.
But I'm going to get it back, no matter what.
 Siyaahi · Mon Mar 12, 2012 @ 08:23pm · 1 Comments |
