But he's all that I think about anymore.
I lose track of my own life because my mind is wondering through endless thoughts about him.
I guess, in certain ways, it's both good and bad.
Good, because I don't think I've ever been this deep in thought about anybody ever. lol And it's nice to think about him, knowing how awesome and kind of a person he is.
Bad, because I do need to focus on myself. I have no job, no apartment, no money. I'm pretty much just one massive failure, besides the fact that I own a car. But still, it doesn't do much good when I'm broke.
I just wish somebody around here would hire me already. I have been out of work for over a year now, and my last job was only an un-paid apprenticeship at a local tattoo shop (which doesn't exist there anymore, they moved away), and during that time, I lost $2,500 that I had to pay THEM for ME to be there and do their b***h-work and s**t. And they fired me anyway. But everybody knows that they only screwed me over big-time. Even he knew who ******** me over before I even told him. Because apparently, I wasn't the only one they've conned. That's just sad...
Anyway... I'll cut my rambling, just one last thing... I think that maybe, if he and I actually get together, that I would have more confidence in myself and feel better about myself to the point where my attitude would probably motivate me more to actually go out there and push my limits to try and find work. I know that sounds odd, but I mean, I could be right...
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"In the dark recesses of the mind, a disease known as fear feasts upon the souls of those who cannot overcome it's power."
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