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There's something I have been hiding from everybody...
I am clinically depressed. I do have many suicidal thoughts. I do think I'm worthless scum. I do feel the world would be better off without my existence.
I do have reasons, logical ones, for why I am like this, but they are very personal and I do not wish to discuss them with just anybody.
Everything I'm saying now is personal, it's quite discomforting and awkward for me to be saying these things.
But I just felt I had to mention it.
I force smiles upon my face and expel happiness for the sole purpose of putting smiles on other's faces.
But at the end of the day, I hardly ever go a night without shedding a few tears onto my pillow before going into a deep slumber where, only then, I can escape from the feelings of utter sorrow and self-loathing, at least just for a little while...
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